Thirtysomething: December 2004

Happy New Year

I'll be at the Tin Angel tomorrow night seeing Jeffrey Gaines. Will I see you there?

Thinking

This sign is outside my office. How lucky am I to be authorized personnel?

Charm Me

By one, asking to see my ID, allowing me to believe that you might think I'm underage and two, for telling me that's the best driver's license picture you've ever seen. I love you, Mr. Liquor Store Cashier.

Ho Ho Ho

Christmas was dandy. LOTS of food. Got to see Nana which is always sweet, even if you do wind up hearing the same stories every 2 minutes. And about the devastation of the world. Nana loves to talk about how horrible the war is, the weather is, the gays and minorities are, the crime is. It's all part of God's plan to annihilate us for being evil. I finally made a rule that there would be no negative talk for Christmas which I made Nana agree to and which she forgot five minutes later. She loves to watch HGTV, so I turned it on, figuring there would be some pleasant show about decorating for the holidays. And who can talk about the world's devastation while watching Christmas tree decorating and gingerbread man-making? Am I right? I lucked out because White House Christmas 2004 was on. Laura Bush was interviewed throughout the show prompting Nana to say how nice she thought Laura Bush was, but that her mother-in-law, Barbara Bush was a bitch. That's right, Nana was calling Barbara Bush a bitch. On Christmas. I'm not sure what Barbara Bush ever did to my grandmother, but there is some definite resentment there. Which I was reminded of, every 30 seconds. Finally, I started shouting, "There's no cursing on Christmas" (which reminded me greatly of one of Tom Hank's great lines in "A League of Their Own" when he said, "There's no crying in baseball!"). But Nana is excused for calling Barbara a bitch and lecturing on the end of the world, because she's 85 and frankly, can do whatever she wants.

Other than that, I talked to my mother a lot, and to my brother, got some great gifts, made some good food. Not stressful. All in all a great Christmas.

Hope yours was happy as well.

Merry Christmas

That's right I said it. Merry Christmas. Not "Happy Holidays". I'm throwing political correctness out the window today.

I was talking to a friend of mine who is working on Christmas. Actually, she's working until 8pm on Christmas Eve and then going back to work at 8a.m. , working a 24 hour shift until the day after Christmas. Her family lives several hours away. In short, she'll spend her Christmas Eve alone. She had a calling to work in medicine and one would expect that a doctor would make such sacrifices.

Here's the thing. Christmas is a holy day for Christians. A holy of obligation. Sometimes we forget that, you know, the "reason for the season" and all. But it's a holy day, second only to the Easter season. I'm glad it's become a time when everyone, regardles of religion comes together with family and friends. That's nice. But it's not the point.

Every religion has it's holy days. What I notice however, is how my friend covers shifts for doctors of other faiths on their holy days. It's expected. Yet, at Christmas, some of those doctors of other faiths, have off. While my friend, a Christian, has to work. She will not be able to go to Mass.

It sucks that she has to work on Christmas Eve and Christmas, that she can't be with her family and friends. But my point is that while she's covered other peopleon their holy days, people aren't covering for her. Because Christmas isn't a real religious holiday, it's sort of a universal holiday. Because if she caused a big stink about working on holy day, she would probably be told to just go along, to make it work, to be flexible, to be part of the team. She'll be told the same thing when she has to work Yom Kippur next year. And it just doesn't seem fair.

She's not complaining. I am.

My friend will take care of newborn babies who only weigh a few hundred grams in the neonatology unit this Christmas. A place where new parents' joy over their babies will be tempered with worry. They, too, will have to spend their Christmas in the hospital.

So here's to the parents, the babies and to my friend, who will take care of them all.

This will be my last post until after Christmas as I venture home to be with my family.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Thinking

That you might want to find somewhere new to live because I'm giving some serious consideration to changing the locks on the doors while you're at work.

Things that Annoy Me

I'm in a foul, foul mood thing morning and so anything I post today will probably reflect that. Here's a list of what's annoying me so far today:
-having to go to work
-looking super tired
-having people tell me I look tired
-having a boyfriend
-as opposed to a husband
-having to cancel MY OWN vacation day so there's enough staff coverage in my office tomorrow.
-bad fucking Christmas songs about buying slippers for your dying mother
-an email account that eats my messages and spits them out before I get to see them
-people who won't go to the freakin hospital when they need to
-YES I FEEL TIRED
-lazy people
-a credit card terminal that won't work
-living with a boy
-having to do laundry tonight
And the thing that's annoying me most today: that everything annoys me.

The Coup

The story of my coup. You may not think it's much, but if you don't then you work somewhere where the ratio of male to female workers isn't incredibly lopsided.

Friday I attended a work-related holiday party. My boss "hosted" it and myself, the other people who directly report to him and some others that report to us attended. The party was held at The Institution and I wasn't hopeful that it would be fun, but alcohol was going to be served so I figured it couldn't be all bad.

The party was great. So great, in fact, that as it wound down, the other people who directly report to my boss were going for drinks at a local bar afterwards. And they invited me. Practically insisted that I go out with them. That's the first part of the coup.

Let me give you some background. I report to my boss. So do other people. We meet every other week with my boss. When I look around the table at those meetings, I notice a couple of things. First, I'm the only woman. Second, I'm the youngest by over 20 years. Some of the others having been working at The Institution longer than I've been alive. I'm the only one who doesn't have grandchilden. Just to give you some perspective.

It's not that they don't like women or that any of them have any problems with "women in the workplace." They're just a group of men that have worked together for years, just men, until 3 years ago when my predecessor became a part of the team. She was quite a bit older than me and had very high standards. I know for a fact that the guys didn't like her because they've told me so. She was a bitch. She wasn't really, but if you're demanding and a woman and you work with all men, that's what you get labeled.

When she retired, My Colleague (the one who really, really needed to leave and since has) and I started attending staff meetings with the boys. I intuitively knew they didn't care for My Colleague and I attributed that to her ultra-professional attitude. Because her ultra-professional attitude came off as her having a big, fat stick up her ass. And no one likes someone with a big, fat stick up her ass, do they? After evaluating the situation, I decided my tactic had to be decidedly different. So I acted more like myself. I cracked jokes at meetings. These were at first met with blank stares because we all know how terribly UNFUNNY I am, but after awhile I got some smiles, then laughs. When My Colleague finally left, it was just me, the lone female at the table--I continued to schmooze.

Still I didn't know what these guys thought of me for sure. I held a position that was narrower in scope and responsibility than most of their positions and yet I held a similar title. I was the youngest, but probably had the most education. I wasn't sure what they thought of me, but I could guess. Don't get me wrong, I'm well qualified for what I do, but well, perception is everything sometimes.

So the holiday party invite comes and I have to bring the people from my office with me, and I'm thinking, "Great, this is going to be just FANTASTIC. I don't fit in with these guys and now my staff is going to realize that too." But to my surprise, the party was fun.

And then, like I said, they invited me to go out for drinks afterwards. The tone and conversation was pleasant. Some banter and teasing started. They gave me some good advice. And at some point in the night, I realized, I'm one of the guys. And I was. I was accepted into the group. Simply by not being a super-professional, ultra-P.C. person, by going out for drinks and being able to sling banter back at this crew, by proving that I could hang with the boys, I earned respect. I knew what I was doing. I was trying to earn brownie points. And it worked. They're actually a great group of men. I learned all about their wives and children (and grandchildren). It was a good time.

Part of the banter that night involved, the "first seat". We always sit in the same seats during meetings and one of the guys indicated that he sat in the "first seat" meaning he was our boss's top person. He was totally kidding and "accused" me of trying to move in on the "first seat". All night we went back and forth. I threatened to get to meetings 3 hours early to steal the seat, he would come back with a threat to lock me out of the building where the meetings were held. My boss, who had been planning on cancelling the next staff meeting, now said there was NO WAY he was cancelling now.

Today, when I got to the staff meeting there were name cards in front of each chair, which I found totally hysterical. Banter ensued. I'm so in.

Now, maybe I can get some things done around here. Or at the very least I can get help when I need it.

Not Enough Time

I cannot BELIEVE this weekend is Christmas. I'm running out of time. I have not wrapped a thing. I realized last night that the gloves I bought my grandmother do not AT ALL match the scarf I got for her. So I need to return and re-buy something that matches. And I've got to do some pre-Christmas laundry. I thought I had tons of time to do all this, but I don't. I'm going to my parents' house on Friday, so everything needs to be done by Thursday night. Except Ron and I are doing "our Christmas" Thursday night, so ideally everything should be done by Wednesday night. Which is tomorrow night.

Which wouldn't be a problem. Except now tonight we're going to Ron's parents' house because...that clan is having some issues. His poor year-old niece has an appointment with a surgeon this morning because she may have a fissula (I have no idea if I'm spelling that correctly) somewhere in her intestines. For those of you who don't understand doctor-speak, it means she's pooping out her vagina. NOT GOOD! And you thought Dooce had issues with bowel movements. Anyway, we're hoping it's not that and that if it is that, that it's congential and not an indication of a larger problem. Like Crohn's disease. Ron's niece, Baby D as she's called, was previously diagnosed with some minor GI problems and allergies after she was born which resulted in her taking some medication before feedings. Everyone was told she would probably grow out of that. But maybe this is all tied in somehow.

Ron's dad, on the other hand, is in the process of driving home from Florida and is retaining fluid in his legs and stomach. His children are trying to convince him to go straight to the doctor upon arriving in PA, but he's refusing. So I think Ron's going to go examine him and try to make a strong case for him going to the ER.

It's a mess, I tell ya. I'm hoping everyone will be okay.

Person of the Year

The GOP takeover of the universe continues.
Really?

So Boring

This post is going to so boring I can hardly even stand it.

Update on my life:
1. Friday I achieved a political coup (more on that later).
2. Saturday involved recovering from said coup, we went shopping braving the crowds at the mall.
3. Went to Christmas party Saturday night. It was a ton o'fun.
4. Sunday I went to church, then ran errands, knitted and called Ron every 10 minutes to update him on T.O.'s condition since Ron was at the game and didn't have access to that all-important information.
5. Did laundry. Folded clothes.
6. Baked cookies.
7. Did not wrap a single present.
8. Today I'm going to run around like a nut because I have no staff.
9. Tonight I'm going to the mall again.
10. Still, I'm pleased with my political coup.

Charm Me

By giving me Godiva chocolates for Christmas. You definitely get a raise!

Ham

Have you ever had a ham steak? They are among the grossest things in the world. I used to have to eat them for dinner as a kid and they totally ruined all ham for me forever.

Thinking

Here it is December 16th and I have not put a festive holiday pin on any label of any coat I own. Have I NO holiday spirit at all???

Death

I'm really surprised by the Peterson sentencing verdict.

I'm not a proponent of the death penalty. This usually surprises people, but I believe that in order to be "pro-life" you shouldn't support taking any life. Even if that person 'deserves' to die. I don't believe Peterson should have gotten the death sentence. Don't get me wrong, I did a back flip when the guilty verdict came through. But when I think death sentence, I think serial killers, mass murderers. The type of person who, when interviewing character witnesses, we find out that as a child tortured kittens and killed puppies.

None of that was the case with Peterson. He's a liar for sure. A cad, as they say. But there didn't seem to be any history as far as him being a violent person, a threat to society at large. From my father and others I know in law enforcement, I've learned there is a code of ethics among convicted criminals. Usually if you've been convicted of a crime that involved a child or a pregnant woman, you're going to have a particularly hard time in jail. So in a way, I would prefer Peterson to go to a general population prison instead of death row. With his crime and pretty boy good looks, other inmates would wipe that smirk off his face in no time.

A Blast

Last Saturday we went to our friends' annual Christmas party at their fabulous house. And by fabulous, I mean, custom-built 4 bedroom house complete with family room and finished basement. By fabulous, I mean hardwood floors throughout the kitchen, with dark wood cabinets and stainless steel appliances. By fabulous, I mean the master suite has a walk-in closet that spans a whole wall, complete with his and hers entrances. Fabulous as in several Christmas trees. You get the point.

It was a GREAT party. All the people I love seeing were there and none of the ones with whom it's a chore to make small talk. It was the kind of party where you spin from group of people to group of people mingling your heart out, with occasional spins past the bar. The only bad part is the next day when it feels like a Mac truck ran through your head.

I love me a good party. When I grow up I want a house like that and parties like that.

The Law

Update on the search warrant. No, they didn't take me "downtown" (sorry, Michael, it just wasn't that exciting--and by the way, when are you going to start blogging again?) and shine bright lights in my eyes. It just involved copying alot of paperwork. THANK GOD FOR LAWYERS.

I'm wondering though if I might have to testify eventually. I doubt it, but that would be cool.

Reading

So Christy lent me some books last week. One was Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealy, which I sped through in 24 hours. I thought her story and writing is amazing. As a "companion" to that, I also started reading Truth and Beauty by Ann Patchett who was Grealy's "best friend". I'm struggling to get through it. Not because it's a hard read at all, but because that compared to Grealy's writing style, I find Patchett's completely and utterly boring. I was trying to get into the book, really I was. I kept on thinking, "Lucy's story was so interesting, this will be interesting too. Any moment now I'll be pulled in." But it's not working out like that. Patchett has other novels published, but I'm just finding her style dull. And I wonder if I'm only finding that because I was so wowed by Grealy.

I keep thinking that Patchett must have always been in Lucy's shadow, something Patchett alludes to in her book, and that Patchett is still trying to ride along on Lucy's star.

Things That Make Me Feel Cool

Serve me with a search warrant. I feel like I'm on "Law and Order".

How to Annoy Me

Somehow break our server by installing the brand-spanking new computers. Not having computer access does NOT make me happy.

Charm Me

By walking into the room humming "Carol of the Bells" and waving Christy's knitting needles around like you're conducting your own personal orchestra.

Thinking

Maybe I'll buy yarn after work so I can start a scarf tonight.

Stolen

Stolen from Michelle, who stole it from Girlwonder:

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Boom 2. Deige 3. DJ Heavy D

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD: Screenames?

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My work ethic
2. My loyalty
3. My ability to put things in perspective

THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My complete disorganization
2. My inability to save money
3. My hestitation to try new things

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Irish
2. Norwegian
3. English

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. the dark
2. either of my parents passing away
3. movies about vampires or demons

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. shower
2. hair gel
3. makeup

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. pink turtleneck
2. black skirt
3. black heels

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists(at the moment)):
1. Modest Mouse
2. The Shins
3. Wham

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Ocean Breathes Salty
2. Fair
3. Last Christmas

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS
1. Reading different things
2. Opening a CD account
3. a knitting project

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Truth
2. Loyalty
3. Humor

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE
1. I love seafood.
2. I once zip-lined from a tree.
3. I thought I would grow up to be a fashion designer

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE LADIES (or men) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Eyes
2. Arms
3. Legs

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN’T DO:
1. Save money
2. Drink champagne
3. Eat one piece of chocolate

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Reading
2.Baking
3. Cleaning

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Go home
2. Buy a whole new wardrobe
3. Buy a house

THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING:
1. Law
2. Student Affairs
3. Ruler of the World

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. St. Maarten
2. Tuscany
3. A cruise to Alaska

THREE KID’S NAMES
1. Michayla Cathleen
2. Aidan
3. Quintin

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Tour the world
2. Buy several homes
3. Make art again

Thinking

With the exception of my grandmother, I've gotten all of the gifts I need to get. I think. For Nana I got a couple of cpairs of gloves because she can only go for about a week without losing at least one glove. I still have to get a turtleneck sweater and one of those...I'm not sure how to decribe them...those wool head scarf things. It's sort of shaped like a hat but it wraps around your neck too and I think you need to be over 80 years old to get away with wearing one. I saw them in stores awhile back and now, of course, can't find them. Let's see....Express shirts for brother; L.L. Bean fleece jacket for Dad. PJs and boxes for Ron, specifically these, these and these. I'm sure I'll get him socks too. (Ron and I are actually buying ourselves a digital camera for Christmas but Christmas PJs are a tradition and boxers and socks are the perfect stocking stuffers). The Waterford shot glasses are on their way.

I love Christmas shopping....

I Got It!

So last night Ron was out with his friends and I wasn't feeling so hot, so I decided to put on all the Christmas lights, light a candle, turn on the TV for some background noise and try my hand at some more knitting. I had tried to do ribbing, unsuccessfully, last week. Last night I was determined to get it right. And I did. Better yet, I finally GOT it. I could look at my stitches and tell when I needed to knit and when I needed to purl. I still get confused about what looks like a scardf and what looks like a noose, but that's not important. I could tell. I could look at the next stitch and just tell. I was so excited.

After doing about 16 rows of ribbing, I decided to switch to stockinette stitches. After doing a bunch of rows like that, I realized my knitting (which had no particular purpose other than practicing) kind of looked like a sleeve. The ribbing looked like a cuff and stockinette stitches looks like the rest of a sleeve. They even curled in like they wanted to be a sleeve. Of course, I had only knitted 24 stitches a row, so it isn't wide enough to become anything, but just that it looked like it could be something made me happy.

Then I decided to try some seed stitches, which I never attempted before. Being able to "read" my knitting came in handy here. I did a few rows of that and think I got the hang of it. Now I have this thing, this thing that looks like the width of a scarf with three different kinds of stitching on it. It's not pretty to look at, but like I said, it was just to practice and learn.

The problem is, now I'm itching to make something. I feel like I could definitely handle a scarf. A sweater? While I'd like to try I'm sure I'm not at that level yet (although my friend Michelle's first project was a sweater); I'd make mistakes, get annoyed and not finish it. I scarf is more practical. And I am nothing if not practical.

I swore I wouldn't start a project before the holidays because I'm already spending enough money on gifts. But...I've got the itch to make a scarf for Ron. Hmmm. I think I'm just so damn proud of myself for finally being able to tell my stitches apart.

I Am

I am the owner of this blog.

The Thought

So last Saturday, Deidre and I decided that we needed drinks that night. We spent the whole day baking and damn it, we deserved some alcohol as a reward. I was very exicted by this prospective because 1. I would get to hanging out with Deidre, something I rarely get to do these days and she's a rockin' good time and 2. alcohol is fun.

We were discussing our options when this ROARING began in the distance and began getting louder. I realized it was an airplane. Sometimes decending planes get routed over center city. But suddenly this was becoming MUCH louder than usual and things and the walls shook slightly. "Um, I think a plane is going to crash into my building," I say to Deidre. I look outside my window just in time to see, not one, but five jets flying in formation overhead. And for a fraction of a second, my stomach lurched and the word that popped into my head was "Fuck." But it was only for a fraction of a split second. Then I remembered that the Army-Navy game was in town with the President in attendance and that jets and presidents go hand-in-hand.

I told Deidre what it was. And I thought to myself that a few years ago if jets in formation flew overhead, I would have thought "Weird", but my stomach would not have dropped out. Not even for a fraction of a second.

Correction

Okay, forget about all the accolades I gave my ass in my last post. I just tried on suits during my lunch hour and apparently the lighting in my apartment is a hell of a lot more flattering than department store lighting. My ass is still flabby. I'm drowning my sorrows in a Milky Way bar.

I still like the nickname sweetcheeks though.

Lift, Baby, Lift

I've been going to my gym for 6 months now and I'm still going 5-6 days a week. Can I tell you how pleased I am with myself? So pleased. This is the longest I've ever stuck with a regular work out routine. While I never look forward to going to the gym, it has become engrained that I must go to the gym. On days when I come home from work and I'm tired and just don't feel like going, I contemplate getting into my pj's for about 15 seconds. Then autopilot kicks in and something propels me to change into work out clothes. Since the weather's gotten colder, the gym has gotten a lot more crowded. This annoys me to no end. But I go and use whatever piece of equipment is available, usually I'm able to get on a bike or eliptical.

The eliptical machine, by the way, has fulfilled its promise, bringing me to my next point and the new love of my life: my ass. Feel free to stop reading now.

Over the years I never paid much attention to my ass. Fortunately, any weight I gained never headed there--it all headed to my thighs, belly and arms. But my ass was pretty non-existent. I noticed several months ago, the gravity might be starting to have its way with my ass and sought solutions to rectify the potential problem before it became a full fledged problem that required surgical instruments. The eliptical machine and lunges were the answer. So I conquered my fear of the elipticals, did the lunges and now I'm proud to say that my ass is rock solid. Bring on the Brazilian bikini! (okay I'm so totally kidding because there is no way I'd ever wear a Brazilian bikini, not even if I had won 1st place for World's Best Ass.)

Anyway, the next body parts that need focus are my arms and belly. Despite losing weight, and lifting weights, my arms aren't as toned as I'd like. So push-ups for the arms and some crunches for the belly. I HATE crunches. Sigh.

I said before that I was so pleased with myself for maintaining my gym routine, but that's only half true. While I certainly appreciate that I am definitely doing much more than I did before (which wasn't hard because before I didn't exercise at all), I know that I don't push myself enough. My workouts are usually about 30-40 minutes, then about 15 minutes of lifting some days. I need to increase the cardio part to at least 35-50 minutes, with a certain number of days (let's say 3 a week) when I do the 50 minutes. And like I said, I need to add in the push ups and crunches now too.

But progress is slow, so they say. I can't believe I've stuck with this 6 months!

Princess

Happy Birthday to the Birthday Princess--my friend Michelle.

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas

I've been humming Christmas songs all day, so I thought I'd chronicle my favorites here.

Top Five Favorite Religious Christmas Songs:
5. Emmanuel
4. Noel
3. Silent Night
2. Do You Hear What I Hear? (particularly the Whitney "Before She Was On Crack" Houston Version)
And my all-time favorite:
1. O Holy Night (seriously, I get chills every time the singer gets to the part "Fall on your knees, O hear the angels voices")

Favorite Instrumental Christmas Songs:
Pachabel's Cannon D
Mannheim Steamroller's Carol of the Bells

Top Five Favorite Traditional Christmas Songs:
5. Frosty the Snowman
4. Deck the Halls
3. Winter Wonderland
2. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
1. Carol of the Bells

Top Five Favorite Pop Christmas Songs:
5. Christmas Wrapping
4. Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree
3. Dominic The Italian Christmas Donkey
2. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen by BNL and Sarah McLachlan
1. Last Christmas by Wham

Favorite Christmas Song that I'm Embarrassed to Admit:
All I Want for Christmas by Mariah Carey (I know, I know, but doesn't it make you want to dance?)

Favorite "Sort of" Christmas Song:
Same Old Lang Syne by Dan Fogelberg

What are your favorite holiday songs? C'mon people, don't be afraid to comment--I know you're reading!

Things That Make Me Happy

A bunch of people being in my apartment for a good book club meeting :)

Thinking

I feel sorry for women, particularly intelligent women, continue to make bad decisions in the love department. Women who should know better than to take men back who cheat or lie or generally are disrespective. Women who are blind to the negative reality of their men. You may succeed in railroading him into marrying you, but that's not going to make him a better person. It's not going to make the relationship better. It's not even going to make you very happy once the day with the big white dress is over.

I've always subscribed to the train of thought that not getting married at all was a much better option than marrying an asshole. Clearly, there are some women who do not subscribe to that reasoning. Because I'm sadistic, it's interesting to see these relationships play out. It's like a train wreck.

Goodbye Is Forever

So Friday was my right-hand office person's last day. The day passed in relatively good humor, but towards the end it started to get to us. When you work in an office 5 days a week, 8 hours a day, those people in your office (for better or for worse) become an extension of your life. That's been my experience, at least.

So the end of the day comes and my employee, D4, sends a group email to everyone in my office. I've taken the liberty of using people's initials (we have a lot of D's) but other than that, it says:

"I didn't want to title this email goodbye, because to me goodbye is forever. Although I said I won't miss you guys, I definitely will. I hope you all know that therelationships that I developed through DHRL cannot be replaced. I think of each of you as a part of my family.
D1- my older pain in the neck brother

D2 - my caring, thoughtful and sometimes grumpy father

C- my long lost cousin, we're close enough to know how each of us is feeling on any given day

P- the younger sister who is often wiser than her years

And D3- my older(and I don't mean that in a bad way) sister, there is so much that I could say about you, I'm afraid that the words thank youaren't enough. You are an inspiration, in more ways than you can possibly know. I will never forget the rules of etiquette that you inadvertently passed on.

So that said, I'll see you guys next week.

Love, D4"

I'm D3.

I found the email endearing. I held it together. I looked at the clock. I wrapped my scarf around my neck, put on my coat. I walked out of the building with everyone in my office. I hugged D4 and wished her luck.

It was already dark outside and it was one of the first nights it felt really cold. The air smelled cold. I walked across the plaza with my hands in my pockets. There was a dull pain in my chest and I was acutely aware that it was the end of an era. That employee was the best I ever had, the kind that intuitively knows what you need before you even ask for it. She stayed with me during the hardest times my department has ever known. As an embattled director, I knew that she was my rock. She took care of me, I took care of her. She stayed with me much longer that I would have if roles were reversed. You just don't find that kind of loyalty and dedication in employees these days. My quest to find her replacement will be tempered by an impossibly high standard.

Finally as I was walking, the dam that had been holding back my tears burst and I quietly cried as I walked down Locust Street. The end of an era indeed.

Wanting...

...to go home and have hot chocolate with candy canes.
...to listen to one of my new Christmas CDs.
...to bake some cookies.
...to get a pointsettia.
...to see my honey.

Thinking...

..that I need some new Christmas CDs. Suggestions welcome.

Charm Me

By calling me to let me know that our brand-spanking new computers are in. Let's hear it for new 'puters!

The Drunken Christmas Tree

You know how when you get a real tree home and untie it, there's that "fall-out" period when the branches fall down lower and make the tree look fuller? Yeah, ours did that only on one side. So one side is really full and the rest of the tree is sort of smushed. Actually, it looks sort of like a drunken Christmas tree now that it's decorated. But that could be attributable to the white russians I was drinking last night.

How To Annoy the Everliving Crap Out of Me

Be yet ANOTHER employee to resign. Because at this rate I might as well have a nervous breakdown and close the department.

An Uncle (Again)

Ron's sister had a bouncing baby boy yesterday weighing it at 7lbs 12 oz. It's his first nephew...and as it turns out, second godchild! We went to see mom and baby last night and boy, is he cute!

Thirtysomething

Thursday, December 30, 2004

Happy New Year

Thinking

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Charm Me

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Ho Ho Ho

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Merry Christmas

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Thinking

Things that Annoy Me

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

The Coup

Not Enough Time

Monday, December 20, 2004

Person of the Year

So Boring

Friday, December 17, 2004

Charm Me

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Ham

Thinking

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Death

A Blast

The Law

Monday, December 13, 2004

Reading

Things That Make Me Feel Cool

How to Annoy Me

Charm Me

Friday, December 10, 2004

Thinking

Stolen

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Thinking

I Got It!

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

I Am

The Thought

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Correction

Lift, Baby, Lift

Princess

Monday, December 06, 2004

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas

Things That Make Me Happy

Thinking

Goodbye Is Forever

Friday, December 03, 2004

Wanting...

Thinking...

Charm Me

Thursday, December 02, 2004

The Drunken Christmas Tree

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

How To Annoy the Everliving Crap Out of Me

An Uncle (Again)

Stuff I Read

Parent Stuff

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