Thirtysomething

Behold

The 3 a.m. hot dogs.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 10:24 AM 0 comments

On the beach

I like walking on the beach during the winter, which is one of the things I did on Saturday, prior to the night of debauchery. Here's R looking pretty happy to be on the beach too.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 10:15 AM 0 comments

Ink

Rock on. The Iraqi elections went better than anyone expected. Although, since there is no unified voter registration process, they had voters dip their fingers in permanent ink to ensure that people did not vote twice. Hmmm.

Might be time to invest in some gloves until that stuff comes off.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 7:32 AM 0 comments

The Duke

This weekend was a pleasant, get-the-hell-out-of-Philly weekend. We were at the southern Jersey shore, which I refer to as the Philly Jersey shore. Unlike the New York Jersey shore, closer to where my parents live in Central Jersey, practically no one lives at the Philly Jersey shore year round. This probably has a lot to do with the economy and the fact that people will commute a hour and a half each way to NYC, but no one in their right mind would make a hour and a half commute daily to Philly.

So the shore was deserted, which was fine by us. We spend Friday night playing games I haven't played since college, including a round of "asshole" that didn't conclude until about 4a.m. I am notoriously bad at playing games, whether they be of the board, card or drinking variety, so it's amazing that I didn't wind up in a coma Friday night. Ron's friends include a life-sized bust of John Wayne, aka The Duke, which travels with them wherever they go. The Duke sits at the table with us when we play drinking games. Because, yes, we are that weird.

After an early dinner on Saturday and having spent most of the day in vain trying to solve a NY Times crossword puzzle, we headed to the Princeton for a night of debauchery. The Princeton, which is not located anywhere near the city of Princeton, is unlike anything I've ever seen. It's a bar within a liquor store. It's pretty bare bones, as far as bars go, but there was a Golden Tee which is one of the only games I am good at, so everything was o-kay. That the beers are only $2 doesn't hurt either. The end of the night included a snowball fight, Jimmy cooking up hot dogs and Morgan making peanut butter and jelly "hoagies."

The really fun part of the weekend was witnessing the interactions between Ron and his friends. There is something wonderful about seeing the easy nature of friendships that have remained strong for over 20 years.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:32 AM 1 comments

The Price of Freedom

I'll be tuning into CNN to get the scoop on the Iraqi elections. I find this whole election process intriguing for several reason including that the candidates up for election haven't campaigned and that most people in Iraq aren't entirely sure what the elections are all about.

Democracy's great and all--don't get me wrong, I LOVE me some democracy, but this seems like too much too soon. Iraqis weren't allowed to make any decisions about anything for decades and now they're deciding who their government officials are. It's got to be a tremendous change.

There are probably several scenerios. One is a bloodbath on election day. Another is election day goes off without a hitch, but in the course of the following months, insurgents start making good on their promise to execute Iraqis who voted.

Oh the price of freedom. In the United States, voting was something that was, at one time, denied women and minorities. Suffragists and civil rights activists changed the face of the vote in this country. I hope the Iraqi people want to create this vote in theirs, because the price will be substantial.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:52 AM 0 comments

Chuck

I love reading Dooce, but man, this dog scares me.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:20 AM 1 comments

Oh What to Pack?

Going to the shore this weekend on an annual trek with Ron's friends. They've been going to the shore for a weekend in the winter since high school. I love the beach in the winter--it's beautiful, but freezing.

What to pack?

Also, what to bring? A case of beer and a bottle of wine are a must. But I'm thinking of a 7 layer dip and maybe making a sour cream coffee cake to munch on.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:07 AM 1 comments

The Miserable Mush

Know what I hate? Slush. Not the dirty packed-down snow. That's unattractive but I can handle it. I'm talking about that black-brown, wet sludge that builds up at the street corners. Not only is it impossible to walk on because it removes all traction, even with boots on, but it's only impossible to walk with splashing the stuff up the back of my coat and/or pant legs. The pile of clothes going to the dry cleaners is growing by leaps and bounds every day. All my long coats have to go except that it's been 20 degrees out and I'd rather WEAR my coats than have them all the cleaners.

So ends this rant. Have a nice day.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:39 PM 0 comments

Oh the Glorious Snow

There is one rule from college which I refuse to relinquish: a lot of snow means a day at the bar.

Ron and I (because we're totally crazy) decided to drive out to West Chester Saturday afternoon. He finished work later than expected and consequently, we headed out of the city at 3pm instead of 1pm, as planned.

WHAT A NIGHTMARE.

Actually, it was kind of fun, only because I was with a skilled driver who loves putting his Jeep in 4 wheel drive. If I had to drive myself, I would not be here blogging today--trust me. Anyway, the Jeep was made for this kind of thing. The snow was blinding; you couldn't see further than the car in front of you at times. And the road? We had no idea where the road was, in proportion to say, the concrete highway dividers. On parts of the roads that were busy, you just followed the driver ahead of you, assuming that they were still on the road. Unless of course, it was obvious that they just steered into an embankment and were no longer in control of said vehicle. Then we just drove around them. There were abandoned Honda Civics al along the Schulkyll.

The main problem was that ice would form over the windshield wipers, rendering them useless. So every few miles we (and everyone else on the road) would pull over and have to chip the ice away. Some people didn't even bother pulling over, some just stopped their cars in the middle of the road.

It took 5 hours to get to and from West Chester.

By the time we got home, it was dinner time and we were in desperate need of a drink. While walking around the city, I took stock of how clean and quiet everything was. I wished it could stay that way. We went to one of our favorite bars, Chaucer's, for dinner and beer. Because when it snows, you have to go to a bar. That's just the way it is.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 7:02 AM 1 comments

We're Going

We're going to the big dance, baby! Bring on the Patriots!

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:47 AM 0 comments

Things That Annoy Me

It being 15 degrees outside.

Delaying the conclusion of the project by 2 days, thus exposing my employees to the aforementioned 15 degrees for another two days.

Damn asbestos.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 7:36 AM 0 comments

Snow

Last night, walking home from work.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 1:55 PM 0 comments

Food

Ron does this cute, yet annoying thing when he thinks I've said something that's funny, yet stupid. Instead of laughing at what I've said, or asking me what I mean, he'll give me a look and then repeat what I've said back to me in different contexts.

It goes alittle something like this: last week we went food shopping. Serious food shopping. There is a ton of food around. So I say to Ron, "I like the apartment so much better when there's food in it." And then I got the look. So I followed up with, "I mean it's just so much cozier when there's food. I can make dinner, we don't have to go out, we can spend more time here. I have options" Same look.

Since then, I've been subject to the following comments:

While looking up at a potential leak in the ceiling, saying "That would look better if there was more food in this apartment."

While looking in the fridge, saying "Honey, this is a really, I mean really, nice apartment."

In response to my asking him to pick up iced tea on the way home from work respond, "No problem, that'll make the apartment so much nicer."

I can't help but laugh everytime he mentions how "nice" the apartment is. Jerk.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 7:21 AM 0 comments

Conversations

My workplace often affords me the opportunity to sit back and reflect on thoughts like "Wow, I never thought I'd hear myself say that" or "I never thought I'd see something like that" or "Holy cow, why am I crawling around in muck ruining a perfectly good pair of Ann Taylor pants?"

Yesterday was one of those times when I had a conversation with an Employee. A section of one of our buildings is currently closed while they remove hazardous materials. Contrary to popular belief I do not work for the federal government research team. Anyway, the following conversation ensues:

E: There's water running out from the front of the building creating a big puddle. Who do I get to put salt down before it freezes over?
Me: There's water coming out of the building?
E (looking worried): Yeah. I mean, at least that's what I think it is. Is it something else?
Me (quickly): Oh no, it's definitely water. The hazmat crew has to be hosed down before leaving the decontamination zone. It's just water runoff from that.

I feel like I'm on the set of Silkwood.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 7:21 AM 0 comments

Tsunami

A friend of mine sent me this picture. It can't be real....right?

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 8:30 PM 0 comments

Conversations

R: What are you doing?
Me (pulling every item out of the kitchen cabinets): I'm looking for the sprinkly things for the cookies. I know I put them in here.
R: Are you sure? Let me look.
Me (walking away): I've already pulled everything out of the cabinet, they're not in there.
R: Honey, come here.
I walk into the kitchen and see R holding the sprinkly things.
Me: Where did you find them?
R: In the refrigerator.
Me (incredulously): In the refrigerator? What made you look there?
R: Because that's where you absent-mindedly put everything.
Me: Are you serious?
R: Seriously. I found the iron in there once.

_______________________________

Me: Why are you dancing?
R: Because I'm happy.
Me: You're dancing because you're happy?
R: Yes. Would you like me to sing too?
Me: No.
R (singing): Boom is great 'cause she makes me chocolate cake.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:57 AM 0 comments

Thinking

Tim McGraw is yummy. Saw the Nelly/Tim McGraw video again and I do believe I have a crush on a country singer!

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:09 AM 1 comments

Tots

I wasn't feeling so hot last night so Ron made me potato chowder, using tater tots. For reasons completely lost to me, it was delish!

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 10:14 PM 0 comments

Halston

I like rountine. If I find a product I like, chances are I'm going to buy it again. Retailers love people like me, as my friend Hope points out, because we're brand loyal. Unfortunately for Hope, I'm loyal to a brand of shampoo other than the one she markets for--but she recognizes my loyalty as a good thing regardless and will go to great lengths to get me to switch to her product. We'll see.

I get this particular trait about rountines and loyalty from my mother. My mother is one of the most fiercely loyal people you'll ever meet. Her loyalty extends from family to grocery stores to the kind of rouge (yes I said rouge) she uses. She expects loyalty in return. But if you cross her, she will cut you and never look back, much like she did when Maybelline stopped carrying her style of mascara.

For the last 30 years, probably longer, my mother has worn Halston perfume. Every day. Never another kind. Only Halston.

Some of the fondest memories I have is from the holidays is when my mother would dress up for parties when I was a kid. I distinctly remember her wearing a cowl neck turleneck sweater, a plaid wool A-line skirt that reached mid-calf and knee high brown leather boots. She wore the heart locket around her neck and her long blond hair settled in waves around her shoulders. And always, she smelled like Halston.

I'm not loyal to just one perfume. There are several that I rotate through, depending on my mood. But in my collection is Halston. And last weekend, as I got dressed for a christening, wearing a sweater, wool A-line skirt and boots, I spritzed on Halston. Just because.

There's something about that scent that will always be warm and safe and grown-up and glamorous to me. During those holidays years ago, I would look at my mother all dressed up and I used to think she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

Come to think of it, actually, I still do.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 8:53 PM 1 comments

What the F#%!K??

I love CNN articles that make me ask, what the f#%!K?

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 8:22 AM 0 comments

The Cutting Block

Dear Employees,

Why do you do stupid things that force me to take disciplinary action? Are you under the impression that I have nothing to do and feel like you're doing me a favor by giving me a little work? Do you want Human Resources to think I'm trigger happy?

Why, I ask you, why?

Sincerely,
Boom


Ah, it must be Monday morning--time to fire someone!

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:48 AM 0 comments

Pootie Poot

This article gave me a case of the giggles.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:08 AM 1 comments

What's in here?

What's in here?

Isn't she cute?

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 8:43 PM 0 comments

Please.

I think the Indonesian government should shove it in their ear.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 7:35 AM 0 comments

Interrupted

Last night I went to Whole Foods for the first time since what we politely refer to as 'the incident'. I hadn't intentionally stayed away, I just don't live in that area anymore. But last night, rotisserie chicken was on the menu for dinner and Whole Foods is the best place to go for that.

As I was leaving, bags in hand and headed towards the corner, it occurred to me that I was walking a dead woman path and I had the uncontrollable urge to look over my shoulder. A simple act that had she done it, might have saved her. If she she had known. But she couldn't have known.

In that moment, I was overwhelmed with a profound sense of sadness that stayed with me the rest of my walk home. As I neared my apartment, I thought about the fact that this was the closest I had ever come to a life interrupted. I hope never to come this close again.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:17 AM 0 comments

So Funny

One of the reasons I went into the education field and not, say, accounting or biotechnology, is that I'm awful with numbers and I abhor practical sciences. Educational administration gives me the freedom to be with students, to help students, but God bless me, not teach students. I was an education major for like a minute in college, and trust me, there is many a high school student counting her lucky stars that I never became a teacher.

But let's get back to the awful-with-numbers thing. I think I've documented here before that I think I have an undiagnosed (and relatively minor) case of dyslexia. Really, I'm TERRIBLE with numbers. Ask me to add 8 and 6 and I'll show you someone who counts on her fingers. Now set me up in front of profit/loss statements for 3 buildings worth 5 million dollars and ask me for budget projections.

HA!

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 7:40 AM 1 comments

The Hit

If you're a regular reader of this blog, you know that I work with (although not for) The Most Evil Company in All the Land. Well, The Most Evil Company In All the Land has struck again, doling out their usual dosage of bullshit and leaving me so enraged that I'm shaking and shouting obscenities.

Know anyone who can execute a hit on the execs at The Most Evil Company? Cement shoes and a swimming pool, maybe? I'll pay top dollar.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:59 AM 0 comments

Undressed!

A year in review.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 7:58 AM 0 comments

Annoy Me

By sending me an email today to let me know that budget projections are due Thursday. WOULD GIVING ME A LITTLE MORE NOTICE HAVE KILLED YOU?

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:46 AM 0 comments

Bye-bye-bye

I'm in the throes of despair. If Brad and Jen can't make it, what hope do the rest of us have?

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 7:48 AM 0 comments

The Soundtrack in My Head

This morning, after catching the video, I can't get Nelly's (featuring Tim McGraw) "Over and Over" out of my head.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 7:19 AM 0 comments

Happiness Is

Szechuan Shoestring Fries at the Continental Mid-town.

Seriously.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:31 AM 0 comments

WHY--continued

Dear Gym Members,
Hey, we all know I have great stuff. But come on now, why would you take my keys? I left them on top of my nicely folded fleece like I always do. You had to have seen them there. I have a very distinctive key chain. Even if you took them by accident, you had to have realized it by now. Why won't you return them to the gym?

What could you hope to accomplish by taking my keys? They're not valuable, unless you're a stalker. Are you a stalker? I certainly hope not. I got my locks changed just in case you are. But the thing that pisses me off is that now I'm minus a distinctive key chain. I had a cool Smithwick's keychain that I was given by a man wearing a kilt. It was so large that it was almost impossible to lose inside my purse.

Now my keys are just on some rinky dink ring that could break any second. Which means I have to go shopping. Do you understand the ramifications of this? You're forcing me to already go back on a New Year's resolution. I hate you.

Sincerely,
Boom

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 7:07 AM 0 comments

Charm Me

While on your way to the shower, start singing, "I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair..."

Really, if it wasn't so funny, I'd start to worry.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:05 AM 0 comments

WHY

Why are people always looking to steal my shit? I hate that, man. My wallet's been lifted twice (although one time unsuccessfully) and last night someone took my keys from the gym. Why you gotta steal my keys? Now I'm all locked out and having to change my locks.

Pisses me off, man.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 7:10 AM 1 comments

Conversations

R: Are you going to the gym?
Me(sitting on the couch, in my gym clothes, watching TV, eating Cheetos): Yeah, in a minute.
R: Really?
Me (looking at him like he's nuts): Yeah, why?
R(laughing): Nothing.
Me(putting 3 Cheetos into my mouth simultaneously): What the hell?
R: Look at yourself, woman.

________________________________________________________

Me, sitting on the couch, minding my own business.
R comes over and sits down next to me. RIGHT next to me.
He looks at me, I give him the once over.
"What?" he asks.
"Why you gotta be all up in my shit?" I reply.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 7:31 AM 1 comments

The Christmas Tree Aftermath

EVERYWHERE! There are pineneedles everywhere! They're all over the rug and the bookcases. They're in my bed and in the bathroom (the bathroom?). I washed some out of my hair this morning. I think I ate one. EVERYWHERE!

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:10 AM 0 comments

Still Wondering

How on God's green earth did we wind up talking about knitted (and edible) underwear last week at Christy and Michelle's? My oh my.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 1:34 PM 2 comments

A Bad Equation

A broken vacuum cleaner + a dead Christmas tree = a very annoyed version of me

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 1:25 PM 0 comments

2005

Wow there's a lot of dust on that pipe, I realized as I sat on the bathroom floor hovering near death. I really need to dust under here.

The morning had started out innocently enough. The alarm woke me up early (Ron had to be at work) and other than being really tired and having a vague throbbing in my head, I was feeling okay. We had gotten home at 3 a.m. which accounted for the tiredness and comparatively, the headache wasn't bad. I promptly fell back to sleep.

Two hours later, Ron calls, bored, because apparently people don't have heart attacks on New Year's Day, or at the very least, have the decency to wait until the Mummer's Parade is over to have them. We chatted for awhile during which time I realized that my head felt considerably worse. Popped some Target brand Tylenol and tried to go back to sleep. Alas, it was not meant to be. There was this strange sensation in my stomach and suddenly I knew there would be no more sleep that morning. Instead, I would spend the day (yes, the day) getting re-aquainted with my bathroom, playing a nice game of "gee-I-don't-remember-eating-that". This was one instance when I was thankful for a carpeted bathroom. It made sitting on the floor so much more comfy. I didn't drink enough the night before to be as sick as I was, so I'm blaming the whole thing on a fight that must have broken out between the bottom shelf gin that was in my drinks at the Tin Angel and the pinot grigio I had with dinner.

Sorry, I'm laughing now because I'm thinking of Jim Breuer. Have you ever see the Jim Breuer skit? When he talks about drinking and how different drinks are like people at a party-- the more "people" (drinks) you have, the more likely things are going to get out of control and finally, the "bouncer" (your stomach) eventually throws everyone out.

Yeah, it was kinda like that.

Anyway, the rest of the day was spent in a fog watching parts of the Mummer's Parade (go Avalon!) and listening to Ron laugh at me when he would call. Happy New Year. Since I flushed all remnants of 2004 down the toilet, literally, 2005 has to be better.

Right?

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:26 AM 0 comments