Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Packing Up a Life

You probably already know, either from Facebook or real life, that I'm relocating about 2 hours from Philadelphia. Except one reader who likely didn't know and is probably doing a happy dance now. You're welcome.

At any rate. So the last time I packed up and moved, I didn't have any kids. It is decidedly more difficult to pack with children. You know that part of packing where like everything is sort of all over the place? Yeah, it's hard to child-proof that pile of crap. So everything must go into boxes immediately. And those boxes must be out of reach of little people. Which, when you're living in 1100 square feet, is not easy. I've only just started and the movers come in a week.

I don't know how much I'll post between now and then. Maybe a lot. Maybe not at all. But once I'm settled in the new place, I will. I promise.

I'm going to really miss this town.

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Monday, June 14, 2010

The Evolution of Knowing What I've Always Known

Since the beginning of my adulthood, I've realized that the relationship I have with my parents isn't going to change. My head knows to accept this and yet, I can't help but wish it were different. I'm not sure there's anything I could or can do differently, but that doesn't stop the wheels in my head from spinning.

Since my early 30s, another thought has crept in and that is when either or both of my parents pass on, I know I'm going to be left with the heartbreaking feeling that it's too late. All chances gone. Possibility of reconciliation: zero. It will be final, then, that our relationship will end in the opposite manner of it beginning. I was the first child, the one who brought so much joy to their lives. The end of the story will be different. I will be the one with words left unsaid and too much time wasted.

I think John Mayer is a total douchebag who runs his mouth too much. But one of his completely overplayed songs hits home.

Have no fear for givin in
Have no fear for giving over
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Than to never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shakin'
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closin'
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say.

Friday, June 04, 2010

He'll Either Be a Cop or a Bounty Hunter

Rolo ("reading" Where the Wild Things Are): Look Mommy, that boy is going to look for bad guys.

Me: Hmmm...I don't think so. I don't think he's looking for bad guys.

Rolo: What he doing then?

Me: I think he's going to look for an adventure.

Rolo: Looking for bad guys is an adventure.

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Wednesday, June 02, 2010

4 Months and 2.75 Years

Swiss Miss is trying her damnedest to turn over. I am so not ready for that. She is one of the sweetest babies I've met though. Of course, I'm biased but she's so laid back. She doesn't like to be left out the conversation and will voice her frustration if the rest of the family is at the dinner table and she's stuck over in her swing. But otherwise, not much seems to bother her. Her cheeks are ridiculous. I feast on them daily. She's started laughing and it's at that awkward phase where it sounds like she's trying to clear her throat. Adorable. Her hands are constantly in her mouth and I think she's on the verge of teething. Something else I'm not ready for.

She is constantly, constantly fascinated by her brother.

Rolo, on the other hand, is a whirling dervish. Like most kids his age, he's a little bit like a person with untreated bipolar disease. Charming one moment and a maniac the next. But there's lots more good than bad. He's a whiz at counting. The number 14 trips him up for some reason. He tells me things like, "I have two toys and if I take one, then I only got one", which is his version of math.

The other night I was telling him that I needed to make him an appointment with the dentist and our conversation went like this:
R:NOOOOOOOO! NO dentist!
Me: What? The dentist is fine. The dentist is fun.
R: No, no dentist.
Me: How come you don't like the dentist? You've never been to a dentist.
R: I don't want a shot!
Me: Oh. The dentist doesn't give you a shot, bug. No shots. (I realize it's conceivable that he could get a novacaine shot, but I'm keeping it simple here)
R: Oh. So what he do, then?
Me: He brushes your teeth and looks in your mouth.

I love that Rolo is at an age where he can rationalize somewhat and can ask appropriate questions. His sentence structure still needs some work, but I love that he asks things like "What he do then?".

He lacks patience and he watches too much TV. He probably gets his way too often. But he's smart and funny and very caring.

Two kids is good. I like having two.

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Saturday, May 22, 2010


Today was A Day. For no particular reason, I felt anxious. I had too, too much to do. I had too, too little time. I was short on patience with the kids. I felt claustrophobic. We had plans to visit with Ron's friends this afternoon. In the end, I sent Rolo with him, while the baby and I stayed home. I needed to get things done. Trivial things: returning clothes for the kids, buying other warm weather clothes that they need, paying bills, vacuuming. But needed to be done, they were. I knew that would make me feel better.

Rolo woke up from his nap in A Mood. Did not particularly want to go with Daddy to see his friends. I felt a little bad about making him go, because all the other kids were much older than him. After they left, I worried that Rolo would feel left out trying to keep up with the older kids or, worse, that the older kids wouldn't want to play with him.

Later, I called Ron, who told me that Rolo was playing wiffle ball. He must have realized it was me on the phone because 30 seconds later, I heard him ask Ron to talk to me.
"Hi, Mommy!"
"Hi, bud. Are you playing baseball?"
"Are you having fun?"
"Yes! I'm playing with my friends!"

Oh bud. I hope it's always so easy for you to make new friends.

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Tuesday, March 30, 2010


Last month, Rolo turned two and a half.

I'll start with the bad. Although, to be fair, just weeks before turning two and a half, we introduced a tiny screaming baby into his world, so it's hard to tell whether the "bad" is because of that or is just a function of being two and a half. Up until recently, we totally lucked out in the tantrum department. Sure, he talks back, says "no" a lot and requires constant negotiation. But he didn't really engage in full-blown screaming fits. But since two and a half happened, there have been a handful. Still, not too many, so we're still pretty lucky. One time though, he screamed so much, he actually popped capillaries in his face and had red dots around his temples for 3 days. Not fun. Also, a sudden and and intense refusal to go to bed. Fortunately, this has dissipated, but for about 4 weeks, the child would break down at bedtime. This one, I'm racking up to some sort of reaction to having a new baby in the house. He's also very clingy with me. Not when I expected, which was was I was holding the new baby. Instead he'd freak out if I left the room. Or God forbid needed to actually leave the apartment without him. Suddenly he was the kid clinging to his mom's leg every morning at day care drop-off. Again, this has sort of stopped, so this may be another reaction-to-the-new-baby thing. Lastly, he staunchly refuses to have anything to do with a potty.

But the good? Is very good. He talks about manatees. And African safaris. He "reads" books. He wants to count everything. He can spell his name. He can pick out about 75% of the alphabet letters correctly. He mimics my tone of voice and it's hysterical. He uses slang phrases correctly. He tells stories that make me laugh. He does tricks. He tells jokes. He likes to color and paint.

Most important of all is how much he loves his sister. I honestly expected him to be jealous. I expected him to act out against her. None of that materialized. We brought home a new little person who reduced the attention he received from us in half and he couldn't love her more. He always wants to know where she is. He lights up when he sees her. He gives her kisses. He yells "Don't worry, I coming to get you!" while running upstairs (with me) to get her out of her crib in he mornings. He tells her "Don't cry, I right here" when she's sad. He reads her books. He shows her toys. All without me prompting him to do so. Yes, he can be a little rough sometimes, but he's two.

I couldn't be more proud. Honestly, some days I feel like my heart will break open with pride. He's a good kid. He's a really, really good kid.

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Monday, March 22, 2010

10 weeks

So my little Swiss Miss is already 10 weeks old and I haven't really posted a thing about her.

Let's see. About her:
She was born with a ton of hair. It continues to grow at an alarming rate.

She does not like to be disturbed while resting.

She is neater than her brother: she doesn't spit up and her poop stays in her diaper. That said, she burps and farts like a drunken frat boy.

She took to nursing immediately. As in, she was born, literally, making a sucking motion. She just recently found her thumb and is in complete heaven.

Her eyes, for now, are blue.

Her skin, unfortunately, is very dry and she has eczema and cradle cap something fierce.

It seems that she may have food allergies as well as reflux.

She doesn't really mind tummy time.

She loves to smile.

She loves to coo.


Let's see. About me:

Having two kids is logistically as much of a pain in the ass as I thought it would be. That said, it's not as hard in other ways I thought it would be.

I'm on a restricted diet as a result of the aforementioned food allergies. No milk, eggs or soy ingredients for me. As an aside, I'd like to point out that with Rolo I pumped exclusively for over six months and now with this one, I've given up eating most foods that are delicious. I deserve some sort of mothering award, no?

I enjoy walking around the city with Swiss Miss.

I have no desire to return to work. This confuses me.

Having the benefit of experience, it seems having a newborn this time is infinitely easier. Not nearly as much frustration or depression. I attribute this to both the experience factor and that I had simply less to lose this time.

I love nursing her.

In the afternoons, she and I take naps on my bed. We look at each other as we drift off to sleep. It is my favorite time of day and I am very sad it will come to an end.

I am completely in love.

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