Purging
One of the best things about my husband going away is that I can take the opportunity to round up about 350 medical journals and throw them out. I've done this several times before when he's been away and he never notices. Because, really, when is he ever going to go back to the volume 743 from 2004? Never. And if he was really looking for something, he's look it up online, which is a hell of a lot easier than trying to find a back copy of the journal. However, if I ask if I can throw out some journals, he always says no. But if I just do it, he's none the wiser. These are secrets to a successful marriage.
All told, I threw out about 4 big garbage bags worth of stuff, not including one big bag of clothes to be donated. Spring cleaning is in the air. I vacuumed, mopped, reorganized, dusted, purged, the whole nine yards. The apartment actually looks tidy. Ron's coming home this afternoon so I'm sure by the time I get home from work, the place will look like a tornado blew through again. He just has that effect of putting everything everywhere. And then I will kill him and go to jail.
Hopefully, we're hitting
the new Mexican Post tonight, where they have finally added chimichangas to their menu. I love me some Mexican food and I love the Old City Mexican Post, but this one is a little closer to home.
I'm in a delightful mood today, which is strange, considering yesterday I was ready to hire a witch doctor to perform some voodoo on my mother. Perhaps the super weather has something to do with this weirdly optimistic mood. Speaking of which, I think I might need to try to round up a happy hour soon. I need to get in some happy hours before I start getting weird looks. Because nothing raises more eyebrows that a pregnant lady in a bar.
Labels: random, SCS
Innie
My belly button is totally freaking me out.
I've always had a very...deep belly button. I mean mine took being an "innie" to a whole new level. It was like a black hole deep, you just weren't sure where it ended. It was like someone had taken a melon baller and scooped out where I should have had a belly button. I have awoken from naps on the beach to friends playing a rousing game of improv basketball involving small shells and my bellybutton. I kid you not.
And now behold! My belly button is like
right there. I mean the inside part, the part never before visible to the naked eye is suddenly level with the rest of my abdomen. It's not an "outie" yet, but it seems only a matter of time.
It is totally weird.
In other news, I need to step up my time at the gym. I have slacked off during the last month and it shows. A bunch of things contributed to this: the amnio, a minor injury, my grandmother's funeral. But now it's time to get back on track. It doesn't help that I haven't been eating as well as I should either.
I've put on an average amount of weight for being 21 weeks pregnant. Probably around 12 pounds. That being said, in a perfect world it would be more like 8-9 pounds. Given that I still have 19 weeks to go and at a minimum one normally gains a pound a week from this point forward, I'm just going to have to be careful. The target weight gain is 25-35 lbs. Ideally, I'd like to be closer to 25, but my goal is really to not go over 35. Totally doable, but I have to stop having a chocolate croissant every morning. And ice cream at night.
As I expected, my body has decided to distribute the weight all over my body. I can tell my face is getting fuller, as are my thighs. Ugh. I can't complain too much, because it's really not too noticeable yet. Even though we're only talking about 12 lbs so far, I can totally tell a difference, albeit subtle, in how the weight affects my body. I get more winded more easily. While I'm sure some of that has to do with, you know, providing life to another human being, I think a lot of it is just the weight slowing me down a smidge.
So my husband is going to be out of town for the next 4 days at a conference in New Orleans, and I'm taking the opportunity to do a little spring cleaning. Which will involve clearing out the cupboards and making room for some healthier alternatives. This weekend may be all about the food shopping. Oh yeah, and the yoga.
Labels: fitness, preggo
Music
So this may totally destroy my street cred (HA!) but I have to comment on some music I'm really digging these days. The video for "
CandyMan"? Love it. Some might argue that she's taking this whole 1940s persona a little too far, but I think it's totally working for her. I love that era and I think she looks fabulous in the video. Plus, it's fun song.
Okay, I know, I know it's all emo and shit but I love me some
Dashboard Confessional. The new song "Stolen" is typical of DC but I love it.
Lastly, I can't seem to get enough of
Gwen Stefani's "The Sweet Escape". You want to think it's a total cheeseball song, yet you just can't help but bop along to it.
I'm going to go bury my head in the sand now.
Labels: music
Budget, Smudget
So it's budget season around my office and they've rolled out a new system for us to use. Of course my budget is due tomorrow and although I've tooled around with it for the last week, I've only gotten really hard core about it today. Procrastinator that I am. Know what I've learned about this new system, and about budgets in general?
They make me want to jab a pencil in my eye.
Labels: work
Broadway and the Beach
So Ron and I have two trips scheduled for April: one to NYC for a weekend and another to Sanibel Island, FL for 6 days. Actually, we haven't booked airfare to Sanibel yet, so who knows if that trips is a go for sure.
I'm thinking about getting tickets to a Broadway show while we're in Manhattan. I haven't seen a show in years, and I think I've always gotten the tickets through a friend. Where does one buy tickets? I mean I know I can go through Ticketmaster or Broadway.com or that you can try to get last minute tickets the day of, but I feel like there is some insider other options that I don't know about.
Labels: vacation
Day Care
So I emailed a couple of day care centers, looking to set up a tour of each facility. Should I consider the following email from one of them a bad sign?
Please call me next week at 215*23-6207 and i will be happy o set up an appointment with you.
alicia ****
directorI added the asterisks to her last name to prevent her from being identified, but the one that's in the phone number was already there. I'm thinking if she can't master basic capitalization and spelling, this place might not be worth my time.
Here Comes the Bride
One of my best friends is getting married the day after tomorrow. And I couldn't be happier that the big day is almost here because being a being a bride DID NOT agree with her and many times I was on the verge of slapping her. With love, of course.
In all seriousness though, I can't wait for Saturday. It's going to be a great day and bride is going to look absolutely stunning. She and her fiance make a wonderful couple, and the only thing I'm bumming about is that I can't take part in the green beer at the reception. It will be St. Patrick's Day and all!
Good
I'm currently obsessed with
Amy Whinehouse's song, "You Know I'm No Good." I think it's so different than most everything else that's out there right now.
Labels: music
The Fat Lady Has New Clothes
People, I am wearing pants with an elastic waistband. Just four days shy of being 20 weeks pregnant, and I've had to resort to this. All of my regular pants in larger sizes are at the dry cleaners. The problem is I haven't yet mastered the feel of an elastic waistband, so I'm in a constant state of feeling like my pants are going to fall down. Maybe they are.
An elastic waistband.
I had my first real anxiety attack about clothes two weekends ago, when I learned that maternity pants, even the "career pants" are not lined. I do not enjoy unlined pants. I surmise that this is because the lining in pants most likely does not stretch, but that doesn't mean I'll enjoy feeling my inseam rub against my thigh either.
Motherhood Maternity,
Mimi Maternity and
Pea in a Pod are all owned by the same parent company, it seems. The interesting part is that the quality of their pants is all the same. Doesn't matter if you get the low-end Motherhood ones, or if you go with Diane Von Furstenberg's high end version in a Pea in a Pod. Sadly, it's pretty much all the same quality, just a matter if you're going to pay $24.99 or $220 for that quality.
That's not to say the stores are all created equal. Most Motherhood stores make me break out into a rash. I mean, did you click on the Motherhood Maternity website? I believe it features a woman in a canary yellow satin dress with a bow. Eck. There's just way too much color going on in that store and not in a good way. Crappy styles too--almost impossible to find pants for work that aren't actually yoga pants that they're trying to pass off as work pants. I mean seriously, in my job a knit pant is completely unacceptable and to me is decidedly NOT a dress pant. The only luck I've had with Motherhood is when I've found their brand in department stores or in a Mimi Maternity. Mimi actually isn't too bad. Their stuff is slightly more tailored so I can see myself shopping there. So far I've only gotten pants though; I have yet to buy any maternity shirts. I'm sticking with my usual brands for shirts for awhile.
So, I'm picky about clothes. We know this. The problem with maternity clothes is that there is so many ways to go wrong. Like the bows. There are cute bows and then there are bad, bad maternity bows. There are a lot of really bad floral patterns out there too. Actually, there are just a lot of really bad patterns in general. And the ties behind the back. I hate the ties behind the back. I realize this is to give a woman some sort of shape, so she doesn't look like she's wearing a tent, but really? I think it's a look strictly for the last trimester. If I wore one of those now, I'd look ridiculous.
But I digress. I think the key to dressing, particularly for work, involves getting some decent tailored (or as tailored as you can get with a messed up waistband) pants in colors like grey and black and pairing them with structured sweaters and shirts. I went on a totally shopping bender over the weekend and got a good start on a work wardrobe. I think I'll probably invest in some basic sleeveless dresses for work too since I'll be pregnant during most of the summer and pair them with some cardigans. For my casual clothes, since I never, ever dress in sweats, except when going to the gym, my jeans, capris, tees and other casual stuff will most likely come from Old Navy and the Gap.
It's not easy, this dressing-while-pregnant business. It involves being selective. But it is a shopping challenge and we all know how much I like a shopping challenge. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go hike up my pants.
Labels: preggo, shopping
No Man's Land
So the other results came back, and as I suspected, the baby has inherited the combination: my mutation (delta 508) and one of Ron's variants (M470V). That particular variant of "unknown significance" as they say, is thought to cause chronic sinusitis and CF-like lung disease. Because the baby doesn't have Ron's other variant, we probably don't need to worry about pancreatic disease. It's unlikely that the baby would have
classic CF, but you know, they aren't willing to rule anything out completely.
I feel like there are two groups of expectant mothers out there: the majority that have no reason to believe their child will be anything perfect and the minority that know prenatally that there is a medical condition. The former is happy, excited; the latter is freaked out.
And then there's me.
I'm not quite justified in being freaked out, because I don't know that anything will be wrong. It's pretty much unknown what, if any, symptoms will present. So to put myself in the same category as women who really are dealing with medical issues isn't right. On the other hand, I can't say I'm relieved. I mean, I'm relieved it most likely won't be classic CF, but it's not like there's nothing to worry about either. There's more research to be done, more doctors to meet with.
The weird thing is that I'm surprisingly at ease with all this. I mean I've been known to freak out over a lot less. Maybe because I feel like I know everything will be okay. I don't know if that's some kooky women's intuition or if I'm in denial. Or maybe, because for whatever the reason, whatever the result, this is what has been chosen for me. God's plan and all. Perhaps there is grace in acceptance. And for the next five months, this just has been be a regular pregnancy, one that I'm excited about.
Because I am excited. I must be, because never once have I wished I were not pregnant. For someone who is ambivilent about having kids, that says something.
Labels: baby, CF
Reservations
I need to come up with a place for dinner on our anniversary. Something open on a Sunday, something nice, but not necessarily so nice that it will equate into morgage payment.
Any suggestions?
House Hunting
Well, okay, apartment hunting really. We need to move. The latest I'd like to move is June, but May would be even better. So I'm looking. I really think every landlord should advertise online and should include full descriptions and photos. I hate ads like this: "Great 2 bedroom apartment in Rittenhouse area. Call for details." Just pay the extra $5 to tell me the cross streets, approximate square footage and utilities. Have I mentioned that I'm lazy?
Anyway, I don't enjoy apartment hunting. I've been in my current place for 4 years and I swear it seems like just yesterday that I looked at that apartment for the first time. Even better is that this time around, I'll have to select an apartment entirely on my own, because Ron is never around during the hours that apartments are generally shown. Which could streamline the process because 1) I pick great apartments and 2) each time Ron and I look at the same thing, we have wildly different impressions of it. I know this from just about everything we've ever looked at but especially from house-hunting over the summer. So the two of us mutually deciding on an apartment could take forever. The downside is that even if I find a great apartment, one that I love, I'm taking a huge gamble if Ron doesn't see it ahead of time because we'll be there for 2 years. And two years is a long time to listen to him bitch. And bitch, he does.
So this post has been one big whine-fest but you know? That's just my mood today. I'm going to see an apartment in a little bit. Let the games begin.
Labels: Living
Testing 1, 2, 3
So we got initial results back from the amio and so far, it's good news. Which I pretty much expected, because what are the odds that we'd have an increased risk for CF as well as Downs or spina bifida? I mean, really, even bad luck runs out eventually. Of course the results that aren't in are the ones about the CF. Who the heck knows when they'll be in, but so far, I'm pretty zen about it. I think I've mentally prepared myself for the results showing that the child has inherited the combination of Ron's and my defects. And if that's the case then we know absolutely nothing more than before we tested. So you know, I just have to be okay with that and accept that with any luck, everything will be okay. In my mind, everything IS okay, but I'm not sure if that's a defense mechanism or not.
Relatively few people know about this CF thing, but there are a couple who do who seem to think I'm making a very large mountain out of a mole hill. I suppose that's possible. But it still makes me want to punch those people in the face. I realize I'm not the only person to ever go through this, the possibility that something could be wrong with her child. I also realize that other people are dealing with much harder issues, like actually having a child with significant medical problems, instead of just an increased risk of a problem. And really, after seeing what my sister-in-law went through this summer, no one needs to tell me that it could always be worse. I know. I've seen the worst. But that doesn't make me want to punch people any less when they imply that I'm overreacting either. When it happens to you and your baby, and if you think it's no big deal then,
then you can judge me.
Chances are, this kid will be fine. The main way it will affect us is whether and how we have another child. I think Ron and I envisioned having two. That being said, I think I'd be fine with one. I don't want to "not know" what's going on if there is a next time though, which means if there is a next time, it may need to be by in vitro. There's a pre-selection screening process in which they can essentially leave out embryos that have the defects. Seems like it might be way too high tech and troublesome for me. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, I suppose.
In other news, unlike trying to tell on an ultrasound, my doctors definitively know the gender of the baby. It's strange to me that people know now. Personally, I don't want to know. But I can't say I'm not a tiny bit curious, especially now that I know it's in my file.
Labels: baby, CF
