Friday, May 30, 2008


Mighty Girl tells it like it is.

I, much to my surprise, basked in the glory of pregnancy. I loved it, loved my body, marveled in the changes. So I was shocked when after I had the baby, I felt disconnected from my body. It felt weak and broken. It's been nearly 10 months, and I'm still not back to form. I'm not just talking weight here, I'm talking about knowing how your body works and then after childbirth, it not working like that anymore. As I've said before, my pregnancy was easy, my labor was pretty easy, but recovery? I can't emphasize enough how much I underestimated how physically altering childbirth is. It takes a long time to heal, mostly in subtle ways. But I'm not 100% yet and I wonder sometimes if I ever will be. People ask when I'll have another baby (as though it's something one orders from and honestly, getting pregnant again before getting this body back in shape, strengthening it, would be about the worst thing I could do to myself, and by association, to my children.


Thursday, May 29, 2008

Tap, Tap

Is this thing on?

I'm still here and it completely escaped my attention that I haven't posted in a week. Time flies when you're busy as hell.

Work is busy, busy, busy these days. And my nights have been spent cooking baby food and letting Rolo experiment with self-feeding. I got this great book, "The Petit Appetit" and it was just the thing I needed to get my ass in gear. I've been steaming and chopping to my heart's content. I don't how long this making-my-own-baby-food will last, but then, I don't suppose I have much of a choice since I can't feed him the jarred stuff forever.

So far he'll eat carrots and green beans steamed and chopped, even though he totally turns his nose up at the jarred versions of those very items. And he's in love with unseasoned ground turkey (bleck). Me? I spend the meals silently praying that he won't start to choke.

Speaking of baby food, know what gets on my nerves? That they don't make as much variety of organic baby food as they do the conventional stuff. And like, it doesn't really make sense. Gerber makes organic carrots, sweet potatoes and green beans, but not peas. Why no peas? (actually, I just researched this and they do make organic peas but only in stage one for younger babies--weird). And also no mixed veggies like a garden or summer vegetable like the conventional version. There are 5 varieties of both otganic fruits and vegetables, but 12 conventional fruit varieties and 9 vegetable varieties. Snap to it Gerber! I was to see more organic variety!

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Friday, May 23, 2008

San Fran

I did the following things in San Fran and they made me happy:

1. The aforementioned riding outside a cable car on the running board. Also traveled by streetcar.

2. Shopped in the GAP and Levi's flagship stores.

3. Went to wineries in Sonoma, randomly selected. Hook and Ladder, Harvest Moon (because I liked the name and also, they have a Zinfandel called "RandyZin", for you know, when you're feeling randy) and St. Francis. We also visited Viansa, but didn't try any wine there. It's the most gorgeous location though.

4. At my friend Meg's suggestion, had lunch at The Girl and the Fig. It was divine and I'd love to get back there with Meg and some of my other girlfriends.

5. Visited Alcatraz--something I've always wanted to do.

6. Walked UP Lombard Street. Which is insane.

7. Had irish coffee at Buena Vista

8. Ate at Mel's Drive-In Diner. Which was not, at the location we visited, a drive-in.

9. Saw the "Painted Ladies". Reminisced about Full House.

10. Went to a Japanese festival in (surprise) Japan Town. Nearly bought a Hello Kitty purse.


Thursday, May 22, 2008

# 26 on My List of Things To Do Before I Die:

Ride on the running board of a San Francisco cable car.


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The Difference Between Men and Women

Me: I need to pick up some face-lotion today. I packed the bottle because there was only a little left, but it turns out it won't last the whole trip.

Ron: Why can't you just use the stuff at the hotel?

Me: Because that's some sort of body lotion by some random no-name brand.

Ron: So why can't you use it?


Monday, May 19, 2008

The Hills

Packing up the car and headed for wine county. Somona wine country, that is.

Although my calves hate it, I love San Fran.


Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Rice a Roni

So tomorrow I board a plane for (hopefully) sunny San Francisco. Unlike most trips I haven't researched anything I'd like to do once I get there. We have tickets to see Alcatraz, we might go to a Giants game, but other than that, nothing.

I'm going to miss the little dude like crazy. I will not, however, miss getting up at 6am. Because seriously, I've been getting up at 6am every day for the last 9 and a half months. I plan on sleeping until 8 or 9 every morning. I'll need it because after flying back home on Tuesday evening, I'll need to go pick Rolo up from his grandparents' and then head into work the next morning. And I'm expecting jet lag to be awesome.


Monday, May 12, 2008

Big Decisions

Rolo is quite the little shopper. For mother's day, he bought me this. Although, he also liked this one (I like the Geranium color, don't you?) and this one, and said if I want to exchange it for either of those, that would be fine.

He's funny, that kid.

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Friday, May 09, 2008

Happy Mother's Day!

Me: Ma-ma
Rolo: Ah.
Me: Ma-ma
Rolo: Ah.
Me: Ma-ma
Rolo: Ah.
Me: Ma-ma
Rolo: Ah!
Me: Ma-ma
Rolo: AH!
Me: Ma-ma
Me: You win.

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Fresh Produce

Well I missed the opening last weekend, but I'm hoping to quickly drop into the Headhouse Square Farmer's Market on Sunday after Mass. Just for a couple of things for the kid and I the few days we'll be around this week.

Have I told you the kid loves grapes? And pears? And mango? Can't get enough mango.

On Saturday, we're going to my brother's bridal shower (hee, hee, I love saying that. It's really a Jack-and-Jill wedding shower). What's that? Have I not mentioned that I have a brother and that he's getting married? Well I do and he is. Before that I'm getting a manicure and maybe if there's time, which is doubtful, because even getting the manicure is doubtful, I may try to pop by the Rittenhouse Farmer's Market.

Although since I really don't need much for this upcoming week, it can likely wait until Memorial Day weekend. But I'm so excited that the markets are opening. No more produce from SuperFresh! There's something about an outdoor market that's appealing to me.


Unread Books

Below are the top 106 books tagged “unread” in Librarything.

The rules:
Bold what you have read, italicize books you’ve started but couldn’t finish, and strike through books you hated. Add an asterisk* to those you’ve read more than once. Underline those on your tbr list.

Jonathan Strange & M. Norrell
Anna Karenina
Crime and Punishment
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Wuthering Heights*
The Silmarillion
Life of Pi: a novel
The Name of the Rose
Don Quixote
Moby Dick
Madame Bovary
The Odyssey
Pride and Prejudice
Jane Eyre
A Tale of Two Cities
The Brothers Karamazov
Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies
War and Peace
Vanity Fair
The Time Traveler’s Wife*
The Iliad
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner
Mrs. Dalloway
Great Expectations*
American Gods
A heartbreaking work of staggering genius
Atlas shrugged
Reading Lolita in Tehran
Memoirs of a Geisha
Wicked : the life and times of the wicked witch of the West
The Canterbury Tales
The Historian
A portrait of the artist as a young man
Love in the time of cholera
Brave new world
The Fountainhead
Foucault’s Pendulum
The Count of Monte Cristo
A clockwork orange
Anansi Boys
The Once and Future King
The Grapes of Wrath
The Poisonwood Bible
Angels & Demons
The Inferno
The Satanic Verses
Sense and sensibility
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Mansfield Park
One flew over the cuckoo’s nest
To the Lighthouse
Tess of the D’Urbervilles*
Oliver Twist
Gulliver’s Travels
Les misérables
The Corrections
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The curious incident of the dog in the night-time
The Prince
The Sound and the Fury*
Angela’s Ashes
The God of Small Things
A people’s history of the United States : 1492-present
A confederacy of dunces
A Short History of Nearly Everything
The unbearable lightness of being
The Scarlet Letter

Eats, Shoots & Leaves
The mists of Avalon
Oryx and Crake : a novel
Collapse : how societies choose to fail or succeed
Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
Northanger Abbey
The Catcher in the Rye
On the Road*
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
The Aeneid
Watership Down
Gravity’s Rainbow
The Hobbit
In Cold Blood
White teeth
Treasure Island
David Copperfield
The Three Musketeers


For some reason, I can't seem to underline anything. The books on my "to read" are:
The Kite Runner
The Corrections
Love in the Time of Cholera
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

I need to start reading again.


Thursday, May 08, 2008

Defying Numbers

To assist me in getting back on a health kick, I've decided to weigh myself once a week. On Wednesdays. Weigh-In Wednesdays. So yesterday, for the first time in months, I stepped on a scale.

I was shocked.

I guess in a good way. I'm only 4 pounds heavier than what I consider my normal weight, only two pounds heavier than my pre-pregnancy weight. And yet, this makes no sense.

Because my mid-section definitely has a spare tire thing going on. And my arms, decided larger than before. Same with my thighs. I know a part of this is a toning issue and not a weight issue. I thought for sure I was about 10-12 pounds over my "normal" weight. How can I be definitely larger in some areas of my body, but only 4 pounds heavier?

Oh, I know! My boobs are gone.


Living My Life

It's funny, this motherhood thing. You don't turn out to be the mother you thought you'd be. Or that you maybe wanted to be. That's not always a negative, just to say that it's different than you imagine. You begin to realize that the daily grind adds up over time, it adds up to the kind of mother you are, it adds up to an overall picture.

I am having one of those weeks, for no particular reason, when it's tiring. Working full time, being the primary care-giver to a child, paying the bills, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, making the dinner. It's a lot. It's just a part of life, but some days it feels like more than that. I could go on and on about the last time I had a chance to get my hair done, or buy new makeup or do something about the bags under my eyes. But that doesn't make for good blog posts.

You know, still, I'm not going to try to figure out how much I should get paid for this.

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Wednesday, May 07, 2008

I'm Sure I'll be At My In-Laws Instead

I wish I knew about this weeks ago. I've been wanting to see that exhibit and I love me some brunch.


Monday, May 05, 2008

Tres de Mayo!

For the second time in as many days, I found myself at El Vez Saturday afternoon with Ron, Rolo and two of our friends.

Seven hours later I woke up in my bed, went downstairs to find everyone more or less passed out in the living room, cartons of cheese fries everywhere.

It was like college all over again. Except with a longer recovery period.


Friday, May 02, 2008

I'd Like an Extension Please

A couple of months ago, Ron and I made plans to go to San Fran for a little vacation in mid-May. Actually, it would be a vacation for me. Ron has a conference out there. Anyway, at the time May seemed like it was very far away and so I knew I had a plane ticket and hotel reservations in San Fran and then I didn't really think about it anymore.

This morning I woke up and realized it was May. That I am leaving in 12 days. That not only have I not researched, as I normally would, things I want to do when visiting a new place, but also, that work is a total zoo. I have a summer intern who is supposed to start when I'm gone. Why did I plan it that way? That was dumb. Also, I'm drowning in paperwork. Also, the weekend before I leave is occupied with company Friday night, a wedding shower Saturday and Mother's Day on Sunday. Not sure when I'll pack. Or pack the baby who is heading to his grandparents' house for 5 days.

I think I'm starting to hyperventilate.


Thursday, May 01, 2008

9 Months

The little dude is nine months old today. His father is working tonight and I (and Little Dude) spent the night with the girls at El Vez.

Honestly, I didn't have that much to drink. Over the course of a couple of hours, maybe 3 margaritas, but they were mostly ice. They didn't cause me, or stop me from, crying like a baby when I got home.

It's not that he's nine months old. The age doesn't bother me. Hell, he'll already in some 12 month clothes and that doesn't bother me either.

I got the notice today that daycare is moving him out of the infant room in two weeks, to the "young toddler" room.

Young toddler room. This, for a child who cannot yet crawl.

I knew it was coming. It usually happens at 8 or 9 months; they tell you that. Although there was one baby still there at 10 months old. I would see all the younger babies, the 6 or 10 or 12 week ones come in, starting after Rolo. I would smile at them and remember when he was that little. He started at daycare at 12 weeks. I've realized he's one of the older kids in that room now. I can't explain why it upsets me. Maybe it's because I love his teachers in the infant room. Maybe it's because I don't like changes to routine. Maybe it's because he's too old to be in the infant room. Yeah, I think it's all of those, but that last one especially.

He's just a baby. My baby.

I'm well aware of the fact that I sound like one of those deranged lunatic mothers who refuse to let their children grow up. I won't be that, I promise. But I will allow myself moments of lunancy. Moments to grieve that which I did not think I would miss: the littleness of a baby. Of an infant. When a baby is only a couple of weeks or months old, there are no expectations. Just eating, and sleeping and pooping. Awe in just those things. But now, at nine months, I've already entered the world of competitive child rearing. I worry that he's not rolling over easily enough, that he's not crawling, that he doesn't say mama. There are expectations now; people start to ask you what your child can and cannot do. Don't get me wrong, I'm very proud of Rolo. He's doing just fine. But already, it's not the pure innocence of having a newborn.

He's gotten better at rollng over from his stomach to his back, but he still gets stuck. It's harder to hide the remote control from him because he knows were to look for it. He's started to push backwards when on his stomach, almost like a backwards creep. He's started to refuse food, as I've mentioned, but overall, he's still a very good baby.

He has this "ducktail" hairline at the nape of his neck. See?

And yes, he is watching the Weather Channel, which he finds fascinating. Is that hereditary?

Sometimes he falls asleep on me:

Sometimes on Daddy-O:

And he gives sloppy, open-mouthed kisses:

Lastly, here's his first and only time on a real swing (thanks to Deidre). He loved it.

Happy nine months, Little Dude.

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Uno de Mayo!

I totally stole this title from an email my friend Christy sent me. Tonight, my lady friends and I are heading to El Vez to have some margaritas, guacamole and Dine Out for Life. Also, I'm considering it the official kick off to the Summer Cocktail Series, or SCS. Which is good. Being social is good. I feel like I was in hibernation all winter.

Anyway, in addition to Christy and Michelle, Meg will also be there and I'm mentioning this only to link to her blog, something I didn't even ask if I could do, so it's possible she will be very angry with me. It's peer pressure to try to get her to post. If she continues to post regularly throught this month, I plan on taking her out for a night of heavy drinking as a reward.

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