Thursday, March 31, 2005




While I still go to the gym regularly, I still haven't taken any classes. Nor have I pushed myself any harder while I'm at the gym. Recently, two things have happened: the weather has gotten warmer and my friend Heather's bachelorette party was recently planned for June. Both of these things are reminders that summer is right around the corner. As for Heather's bachelorette party, it's at the beach, which will make for a lovely weekend. On the other hand, one of the other bridesmaids, who is a wonderfully nice person, is just a tad shorter than me but weighs no more than a Twinkie. We'll both be in bathing suits.

Time to push myself harder the gym. Thank you, Twinkie, for being my inspiration.

Monday, March 28, 2005


It seems I have an adopted brother. His name is Mort. He's a moose. More details to follow.

It Only Gets Better

The classic movie that defines my life?

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by

Ah, comforting.

Friday, March 25, 2005

The Leader I Am

You have to know me to understand how incredibly funny this is:

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by
I can only hope a sex scandal is on the way. How exciting!

Thursday, March 24, 2005


The 2004-2005 trifecta of family holiday visits is almost complete. Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter. This visit won't be that bad, although it's usually the most awkward, because everyone knows I'm not coming back until November. Christmas is always the best visit because, honestly, how bad could anything really be at Christmas? And the most anxiety-riddled visit is Thanksgiving, because there's such a long span between Easter and Thanksgiving.

I made a sour cream coffee cake last night and I'm making a chocolate turtle cake tonight to bring home. Most importantly, I'm picking the booze up on the way home from work tonight. Because I CANNOT forget to bring home the booze. I'll get flowers tomorrow too. But, frankly, the booze is the most important part.


I won't comment whether or not Terri Schiavo, or anyone else for that matter, has the right to decide to die. It's not for me to pass judgement on. I won't comment on the debacle our government and media has made of this case.

What I will say is that, in regard to dehydrating or starving to death, I don't think most of us would allow a dog to go through that.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005


I've been under the weather since last Thursday. Fever, congestion, loss of appetite. Not fun. I think I've mentioned on this site before that whenever I've been sick and start feeling better, I want a Big Mac and fries. It's been that way ever since I was 7 years old. Weird, right? I can't explain it.

So last night, as I'm walking home from work, after not being hungry the whole day, I suddenly craved a Big Mac.

I am healed.

Monday, March 21, 2005


Well only 7 days until Easter and the I-gave-up-cursing-for-Lent charity fund is up to $31 dollars. Apparently, I just can't stop swearing, although honestly, 31 curses over the last 5 weeks is an approvement. And if I stopped cursing entirely, the charity of my choice wouldn't get any $. So this is a win-win situation, really.

Friday, March 18, 2005

What Day Is It?

I have to fire someone, yet again, so I figured it must be Monday because stupidity always manifests itself on Mondays. But oh no, it's Friday! We're mixing things up around here! Yay!Stupidity can happen any day of the week!


Because a person who reports directly to me told me that another employee asked him if I was sick, because I had "lost so much weight." Which is laughable because I haven't lost any weight recently. But the bad part? I told him to pass on that my illness is quite serious and that additional stress will only aggravate it, so if everyone could just come to work and do their jobs without complaint, that would be very helpful. Life-saving even.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Annoy Me

By arguing that I'm discriminating against you by not granting you (a female) and your (male) partner the same rights and privileges as a married couple. Discrimination by not giving you the same "privileges" gay domestic partners have? You've got to be kidding me.

You're a heterosexual couple. Newsflash: you CAN get married. Go to City Hall and spend the $40. I know people who wish it was that easy for them.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005


Standing at the bathroom sink.
R (pulling a Biore Ultra Cleansing Pore Strip off his nose): Oh my God. This really hurts. I wouldn't have agreed to this is if I knew it was going to hurt.
Me: You wanted to do this. This was your idea.
R: You were doing it and I want to be just like you. Man, this hurts.
Me: Don't be a sissy.
R (looking at the now-removed Biore strip): Look at this thing. What is all that?
Me: That's dirt and gunk that was in your pores. Gross, right?
R: That's New York dirt.
Me: New York dirt?
R: Yeah, that's from being in New York. Philly isn't that dirty.
Me: So you're saying all that accumulated in the last few days?
R: Exactly. New York dirt. (Looks in the mirror) Why do I have holes in my nose now?
Me: Those are pores, dear.
R: Why are they open? They weren't open holes before! I'm disfigured. The Biore strips disfigured me.
Me: Please. They'll close up. It's not even noticable.
R: Can I fill the holes back up? I don't want holes on my nose.
Me: They're pores. You just cleaned them out. They'll close back up.
R: I have holes in my nose. Can I put the dirt back in?
Me: You're so vain.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Buona Notte

Happiness is having dinner in Little Italy and being so blissfully full that you don't even realize you didn't have dessert.

Did you hear me? I didn't have dessert in Little Italy. I may have been blissful at the time but now I'm thinking about the cannolis I passed up and I am pissed. GIVE ME A CANNOLI NOW.

Heaven is a Place at 34th Street and Herald Square

I really don't have a great sense of direction. I know this about myself. This weekend we got lost no fewer 53 times. The thing about R is that when we get lost, he takes it as an opportunity to pop in to the closest bar and re-group over an adult beverage. Boy, did that make getting lost a lot more fun.

We were typical tourists, something that made Hope be embarrassed to be my friend, as she and I are both native New Yorkers. The difference being, I left New York when I was 15 while she continued to live there until her mid-twenties and still works there. ANYWAY, R and I went to the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty, South Street Seaport, Macy's, toured around the Village and had drinks at Pete's Tavern (which was planned, as opposed to our unplanned lost pit-stops).

The view from the top of the Empire State Building is amazing, as you would expect. I'm not afraid of heights, but even my stomach did a little flip-flop when I looked straight down. You can see forever and ever though and it's beautiful. I had never been to the top before. I had, however, been inside the Statue before, in 1987. They were sold out of Observatory tickets, but we decided to hop a ferry to Liberty Island anyway just to tour around. I'm glad we did, because the Park Rangers gave us museum tickets and somehow we wound up on an Observatory tour. You're not allowed to go higher than the top of the base of the Statue these days, but you can look up into the interior structure. In case anyone reading this didn't already know, I am a total and complete GEEK and love museums, so I found the Statue Musuem fascinating.

We met up with Hope, Tim and their baby Ryan for dinner, which was so nice. Ryan is so adorable that it took everything in me not to stick him in my purse, bring him home and hope that his mother didn't notice. I was so glad that we could all coordinate our schedules to meet up with my friends.

I spent 4 hours, by the way, at Macy's, the world's largest store. I nearly walked out with 2 coats, a pair of Diesel sneakers, a painting and a new hair color. I restrained myself, but for a short time, I thought I found heaven on earth.

Friday, March 11, 2005

If I Can Make It There, I'll Make It (da, da) Anywhere

So R and I are off to NYC for the weekend. He has an interview there on Monday, so we thought it would be fun to go there early and tool around the city. I'm really looking forward to it. I've never really done tourist-y things in Manhattan, but since my significant other has really never been there, this is my excuse. Because I veer towards the anal rententive side, I have itineraries. Because I alternately veer towards the lazy side, I'm completely open to not following an itinerary. I just like having options and I like knowing in advance what my options are.

So possibilities are: Statue of Liberty, the Met, South Street Seaport, dinner in Little Italy,and top of the Empire State Building. Also, we're going to try to meet up with Hope and Tim and a couple other friends. Next week I'll tell you if we did any other that.

I heart NY.

Thursday, March 10, 2005


What the inspiration for Gwen Stefani's "Rich Girl" was. Do you think she wrote it a long, long time ago? Or maybe she can imagine what it's like not to be rich? How do you think she keeps a straight face when she sings, "If I was a rich girl..."? Do you think she ever busts out laughing?


So did you see the Petra Nemcova interview with Diane Sawyer last night? Have you ever heard anything so sad? I mean think about your partner--your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, significant other, whatever. Think about that person. Now try to imagine being swept away by a tsumnai and watching that person being swept further and further from you, screaming your name. And then drowning.

I cried for Petra. And if you didn't, then your heart is made of coal.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005


R and I are in the kitchen and the following occurs:
R (opening a box of my beloved Post Maple Pecan Crunch Cereal): So this cereal isn't so fresh, huh?
Me: Why? What's wrong with it?
R (looking at the top of the box): Well....
Me: I just got it at Acme the other day. What's wrong with it?
R: Nothing.
Me: Is it expired? I JUST BOUGHT THAT. Is it expired?
Ron: (starting to rip the top of the box): No, no, definitely not.
Me (reaching for box): Let me see.
R (fending me off and ripping the expiration date off the top of the box): No, no, it's fine!
Me: Why are you ripping the top of the box off? It's expired right? Let me see!
R (shoves box top in his mouth): No!
Me: You're eating the expiration date?
R: Yes.
Me: You're actually chewing that? Don't chew that!
R: Trust me, it's easier this way.


So we're walking through the shoe department in Strawbridge's the other day, and naturally my pace slowed, because LOOK AT ALL THE SHOES! Suddenly Ron says, you'd look good in those. Really? Because they are so NOT my style. I haven't worn Converse anything since a pair of Chuck Taylors I had when I was 16. But he was serious.

Now I'm considering getting them. For no other reason than someone told me they would look cute on me. I'll probably get them and never wear them, because they're so not me. But it's okay to wear something outside the box every now and again. Right?

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Martha, Martha, Martha

For years, I've had a deep-rooted dislike for Martha Stewart. She seemed like a know-it-all. And she seemed mean. She had this cult-like following that got on my nerves. I made a point of not buying her products and not watching her shows. Well, my mother was a big fan so I did get her a subscription to "Martha Stewart Living". And I do have one Martha blanket but only because it was the perfect color I needed and couldn't find anywhere else.

When the stock scandal broke, I loved it. I asked God for jail time for Martha. Although, I could recognize that of all the crimes in the world what she did wasn't really too bad. And I certainly realized that men weren't going to jail for industry crimes worse than Martha's. But who cares--off to Camp Cupcake you go! She was right up there with Hillary Clinton in the catergory of popular, rich women I can't stand.

Last week, when the media started becoming frenzied over Martha's impending release, I was aggravated. But then, on Friday, the pictures started coming in, of Martha in her high heeled boots and poncho. I found myself watching it all on TV instead of flipping the channel as I would normally do. I caught myself saying "Doesn't she look fabulous?" out loud. I was almost rooting for her. I realized, somewhat shockingly, that my heart had warmed to Martha.

I'm not sure why. I think it's because she went to jail. She took responsibility for what she did. She paid the price. She didn't blame anyone else. She did what most men wouldn't do. I respect that.

Go on, Martha!

Monday, March 07, 2005

Annoy Me

By not insisting that discount hotel websites like Orbitz and Expedia update your hotel's photo. Are you kidding me? It's been over 3 years!

Friday, March 04, 2005


So the only piece of art I have from my past life as an artist is this. The picture is off-center, obviously. I'm not sure how it survived the last 17 years--I did it when I was 13 or 14, which explains the '80s feel about it. Funny, huh?


An article in Marie Claire (which means it's totally true) states that while there is a health benefit for men to get married, single women are actually healthier than married women. GOOD NEWS! More specifically, women who are single tend to advance in their careers (duh) but also have fewer issues with stress and depression (which is probably attributable to more single women not having children).

Here's to being healthy!

Thursday, March 03, 2005


Have I mentioned how much I love physicans? Actually I do. My boyfriend and friends are doctors. Usually I actually like my primary care doctor. A visit to him yesterday and I walked out with more prescriptions than I can carry. Despite my neck and back feeling better (but not 100%) and me telling my doctor that, he insisted on prescribing muscle relaxers. And anti-inflammatories. And rehab.

I can get behind the rehab. But all the drugs? I'm going to get the muscle relaxers because they're free but I doubt I'm going to take them.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

The Lucky Ones

For awhile I've wanted to post about someone I know, but she previously worked for me, and it didn't seem appropriate. She doesn't work for me anymore. I'm sad about that.

Let's call her Ellen. Ellen and I are almost the same age, and we have similar personalities. But our similarities end there. We come from different racial, socio-economical and religious backgrounds. I graduated from college, got a master's degree from an ivy-league institution, am single and have no children. Ellen got pregnant as a teenager, dropped out of college, finally got an associate's degree and eight years later is still working on a bachelor's. She has two children. We would always joke that although she and I were the same age, that her children would be able to babysit for my children one day. We also joked that at the rate I was going I would be in a retirement home by the time my children went to college, while Ellen's kids would be off to college by the time she was middle-aged.

I greatly admire Ellen. Unlike most teen-aged moms in urban settings, she didn't give up on school entirely. It's taken her awhile, but she's getting there. She's held down stable jobs. She's a very hard worker. She refused to go on welfare, knowing the vicious cycle that comes with it. Both her children have the same father and, after some struggles, they've stayed together as a happy family.

Ellen is incredibly lucky. It doesn't turn out that way for most people like her. She's broken most stereotypes. I'm aware of how hard that can be.

I think the trick was that Ellen always put her children first. She tried to better herself only so that it bettered her children. She continued going to school, so she could get better jobs, so that she could make more money, so that her children could have better things. There was a time, after her first child was born, when she ended her relationship with her child's father, because she was young and didn't want to be tied down anymore than she already was and also, he couldn't hold down a job. And who needs that?

Ellen looked at me in amazment when I would walk in from lunch with bags of clothes from yet another shopping adventure. It floored her that I spent money on myself. But then, who else was I going to spend it on? That was a concept she didn't get. Ellen couldn't remember a time when she didn't have a child and didn't have to worry about feeding them, clothing them, providing for them. She would say that she couldn't imagine not having children, but would follow up with "But that's because if I did imagine it, I would probably become bitter about the carefree life I didn't get to have."

Ellen would gush about how proud my family must be of me, educated and successful. But I countered, that it was easier for me. My background steered me in a direction where everyone around me finished college, everyone was pushed to succeed. For Ellen, to accomplish what she has, continuing her education, raising two children, becoming an adult at a young age, that was was much harder. She had so many more obstacles than I did, that I told her that a comparison of she and I was like comparing apples and oranges.

She's one of the lucky ones. But then, I think she made her own luck.


While recovering from a hangover on Saturday (damn you, pitchers of margaritas!) I decided to venture to an art supply store. I've been tinkering with the idea of taking up art again. I spent 8 years in private art classes and took a class in college, but now it's been almost a decade since I did anything art-related.

I think I miss it.

So there I am wandering around the art store, like a person with amnesia whose memory is suddenly jogged: CONTE CRAYONS! I REMEMBER conte crayons! Look, pastels! Charcoal! Messy, but I loved it! Dobe erasers! They were my favorite thing of all time! HB pencils--I used to love HB pencils! Paint brushes! Acrylic paints! WATERCOLORS! Look--sketch pads! Oil paints! I LOVE oil paint! Turpentine! Linseed oil! OH HAPPY DAY!

After hours of indecisiveness, I finally settled on some pencils, erasers and a square sketch pad.
Now what?

I'm wondering, like with all other subjects, if without the structure of classes, I'll be able to re-learn art. I've always had a talent for it. But I'm not creative. I can't just draw from memory. I can't really create from scratch. I'm not even particularly good at setting up a still-life, although I usually can recognize a good composition when I see it. I'm realizing that throughout all my art training, I learned a lot of skills which brought out my innate talent. But you can't teach creativity.

So we'll see if I start drawing again. And if it's any good.

In the meantime, speaking of hobbies, I did a little work on the scarf I've been knitting FOREVER. And I've been spending my evening poring over cookbooks, trying to come up with new and fun recipes. I love reading cookbooks!

I need to decide on one hobby, I think

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

No Alternative

Things that make me sad: taking Y100 off the air. Seriously, I'm in mourning. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to work out to B101? Totally uninspiring.

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