Monday, October 31, 2005

Two Things That Do Not Make Me Happy

1. Having to go to work at 5:30 a.m.

2. Learning that a single sprinkler releases 260 pounds of water a minute when set off.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Lady Lumps?

"My hump" by the Black Eye Peas. Have you heard this...I can't even call it a song...this thing? Oh my God, it's like nails against a chalkboard.

Further and definitive proof that Fergie is best kept as a back-up singer.

Conversations: Size Matters

Me: So I told you that he's shorter than I am right?
M: Yes, you told me.
Me: Like really shorter?
M: (silence) What do you mean?
Me: Like that kid that D-was friends with in college.
M: Oh no. That kid was shorter than me!
Me: Yeah, well that's what I'm talking about. He's decidedly shorter than me. No question about it.
M: Really?
Me: Absolutely. His whole family is tiny.
M: Unlike your family.
Me: Completely unlike our family.
M: Thank God your brother won't be there.
Me: You're telling me.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Song of the Day

"Dirty Little Secret" by All American Rejects.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Behold Quelvis! Or Kwelvis, Take Your Pick


Where the hell did the weekend go? One minute I was leaving work on Friday to meet Christy for a drink and the next thing I know, it's Monday and I'm headed back to work.

This does not please me.

In the interim, however, I do remember having a lovely time Friday night, going to the Travel Show Saturday, and doing a hell of a lot of baking on Sunday. It was a full weekend, yet it still flew by so fast. I hope this coming weekend flies by so fast, but that's a whole other story.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Poor Guy

You know I've been whining about getting up early to go to the gym or staying late at work to teach self-defense. Right. So I look at Ron's schedule and realize I have nothing to complain about.

Yesterday morning, after working since 4p.m. the day before, Ron jumps in his car and heads to Jersey to do the whole fingerprinting and criminal background check thing to fullfill the mandatory requirement of ensuring that he's not leading a secret life as a drug lord who filters heroin to his patients. Do you think that you can just walk up to the counter, get fingerprinted and then leave? Have you ever been to the N.J. DMV? Or DMV? Yeah, nothing is simple as it relates to paperwork and processes, so Ron spent about 4 hours in New Jersey yesterday, and that was after working all night.

He took a nap, I woke him up when I got home from work and he did his best to be a normal, functioning human who is capable of carrying on conversation. Today he has to be at work at 4p.m. again, but not before taking an exam from 8 a.m. to 4p.m. Because really, what you want to do right before working a 16 hour shift is take an 8 hour exam. Who the fuck came up with that schedule?

The poor thing is so tired, a kind of cumulative tired derived from not getting enough sleep for almost 3 weeks and working long hours. This is why they have an 80 work week for medical residents. The problem is that they don't count exams, lectures, presentations, clinic, meetings or anything else that requires them to be in the hospital as part of "work". Idiots.

Anyway, you know when you're really, really proud of someone other than yourself that you just want to beam your pride into a great big hug that envelopes him? That's how I feel about him.

And to further prove that's he's a functioning human, we're going to the Travel Show tomorrow morning after he's done with work at 9 a.m. only to return home so he can sleep for a couple of hours before going back to work tomorrow night.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Okay, I'll Bite

I stole this from Christy and Sabrina. You type in your name and the word "needs" into Google and post the first 10 hits back.

Here's what Google thinks my alter-ego "Boom" needs:

  • Boom needs Supertram
  • Boom needs more support
  • Boom needs no subsidies
  • Boom needs the U.S. front office
  • Boom needs more terminals sites
  • Boom needs social safety nets
  • Boom needs to be precisely drilled
  • Boom needs the correct accessories (so true)
  • Boom needs to only to be fed with spray solution
  • Boom needs to be large enough in diameter to accomodate a fork tube

Without question the last one is my favorite.

Book 'Em

First of all, I justified not going to the gym this morning with the fact that I did wind up going last night (for only 25 minutes). Whatever. Now I have to go tonight, which I'm not happy about, because Ron may actually be home tonight and it would be nice to actually be home with him. Maybe I'll leave work early and hit the gym.

Speaking of Ron, he's currently being fingerprinted by NJ state police and having a criminal background check done. What's your significant other doing right now?

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

It's Just Easier to Sleep In

So I promptly followed up on my previous post by skipping my morning workout. Which would be twice this week so far that I've skipped it. So much for my dedication. Missing this morning wouldn't be so bad if I could work out tonight. However, I'm teaching self-defense tonight and that doesn't count as a workout. It might for my students, but I just stand around getting hit repeatedly. If I run home right after my class I might be able to squeeze in a half hour before my gym closes. Again, that would require some dedication.

Somewhere in the last couple of weeks, I managed to put on 4 pounds or so. I have no explanation for this, but it has resulted in my body weight shifting around a bit. Which is annoying.

After missing a month of my pilates class because of pre-cana, my first class back last week kicked my ass. My stomach muscles were sore for the following 5 days. I went again last night: nothing. My muscles are fine. I'm kinda wishing they were sore--you feel like you've done something then. It's like tangible proof that it's working.

Tomorrow morning I am SO going to the gym. I won't care that it's dark out. I won't care that it's cold. I won't care that it's nice and snuggly in my bed. I will go.

Here's to 5:45 a.m.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005


I'm getting married in five months. It's time to get serious about this working out business.

Because, you know, Christmas is coming. And Christmas means cookies.

Not Fair

Yesterday was a long day. Went to the gym before work. Taught self-defense after work--except it was the boring class where we mainly go over paperwork. Had to watch the football game since I was tied for first place in my pool.

Then to boot, I found out that Bruce Springsteen played with U2 at their concert last night. Why wasn't I there?

Monday, October 17, 2005

Ball of Fire

I woke up on Saturday morning to a strange brightness in my room. And I asked myself what we always asked ourselves back in college: what is that strange ball of fire in the sky?

That first fall I was at Scranton, it rained. A lot. Seemingly for weeks on end. I swear it was second only to Seattle in its rainfall. Whenever it was sunny, we would look at the sky incredulously and ask mockingly "What is that strange orange ball in the sky?

The Great Pumpkin

When you Google "Menzel Brothers Farm, N J", you get about 10 or so hits with farm listings in New Jersey, including the Menzel Brothers. Complete with their phone number. When you call that number ask "Is this the Menzel Brothers farm?" and they say, "Well, they sold it, it's Casola farms now?" and then you ask, "Can you still pick pumpkins there?" and they say, "Yeah, there are pumpkins in our field" --when all that transpires, you are lead to believe that the farm actually exists.

But you're wrong.

On Saturday, my beloved and ever-patient fiance and I drove an hour and a half to visit the farm where I picked pumpkins off the vine in my youth. I knew this would be somewhat of an adventure, because I remembered that farmers rotated what crops they grew in which field, so the pumpkin patch moved a little bit each year.

I stopped into a farm store that I thought might be the old Menzel Brothers store and got yelled at. Apparently, it's bad form to ask for directions to another farm while you're at a farm. That and the woman who worked there was a tired, bitter bitch who should die soon.

ANYWAY, she told me that the Menzel Brothers farm is now a deli but it was further up the road. I report back to Ron, who after driving for close to two hours was not thrilled at the growing prospect that I had no idea where this farm was. We drove a little further and passed this mega-farm with lots of buildings. I didn't remember that at all, so we kept driving. Then I saw it: the old Menzel Brothers farm store. We made a U-turn. I was positive that this was it.

And it was a deli.

"So when you called, they said that they had pumpkins?" Ron asked. Yup. And then we both noticed a small yard to the left of the store with some pumpkins scattered about on it. I realized the gravity of my mistake. I had assumed when they sold the farm, that they had sold it whole and when the dude on the phone said that they had pumpkins, I has assumed that they were on the vine. I was wrong all around.

I don't recall ever feeling so dejected. I felt stupid for dragging Ron to the middle of nowhere only to find pumpkins that we could buy at the local Acme. But more, I felt sad that one of my memories was gone. Someplace that I had always wanted to go back to. I know it sounds stupid. But it used to be that you could go there, take a hayride to the far end of the field and look at all the "scary" witches and ghosts in the trees that bordered the field along the way. And then you could spend hours searching for THE perfect pumpkin and take it right off the vine. It's not even like I went there when I was really young--I was 15, 16, 17. But it's one of the last places I remember going with my family when it was whole. When we had fun.

So I nearly started to cry. Ron took pity on me and said we should make the best of it and find Delicious Orchards, because we knew it still existed and has great pies. Of course, I took him the wrong way and we got lost. Well not lost, really, just 5 miles down the road in the wrong direction. So on our way back down the road, we stopped at the mega-farm because they had a "Pick Your Own Pumpkin" sign. What a crock of shit. They import their pumpkins from somewhere else and drop them in a field for you to pick through. But they're not on the vine. Of course it's "pick your own"--when was the last time you went anywhere and you weren't allowed to pick out your own pumpkin?

Regardless, we trekked through the mud and picked out one large one for Ron to carve. I picked out some smaller ones for my office and the mantle at home. Then finally, we made our way to Delicious Orchards, which was a MOB SCENE and got a pie, cookies, candy and cider apple donuts (so much for eating healthy).

Apparently picking pumpkins is a dying art form. We found one place, last fall in Delaware where you could pick from the vine, but there was nowhere to buy pies and candy apples--an essential end to the pumpkin-picking experience.

My hunt will continue next fall.

Friday, October 14, 2005


I really should MAIL the save-the-dates. Then they'll, you know, be more helpful than they are sitting in my living room.

Ah, Fall

So the plan for tomorrow is to go pumpkin picking. That is, IF IT EVER STOPS FREAKIN' RAINING. The forecast for Saturday changes everytime I check the ever-useful

Even if it's nice, which as of this moment it's supposed to be, the pumpkin patch field is going to be a mess of mud.

You ever want to revisit a place you went as a kid, only you're afraid it won't be the same? That's how I am with this farm. It was the first place I ever went where you could pick the pumpkins right off the vine. I just loved it. And ever since, the only way to get a pumpkin is to pick it from a patch. So tomorrow I've convinced Ron that to drive an hour and a half away to this farm to run around in the mudd. And I'm afraid it will suck.

We're going anyway. Unless it's raining.

Tonight, however, we're going to his parents house where we can totally stuff ourselves on his mom's homecooking. Yum!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

What DMB Song Are You?


What Dave Matthews Band Song Are You (Results Contain Pictures)?
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Tuesday, October 11, 2005


Today, I caved in. I put on pantyhose.

My legs are screaming at me.

Monday, October 10, 2005


I just find this very intriguing.


I'm not a huge fan of movies in general, I only go to the theaters about twice a year and rarely make a point of watching movies on TV. That being said, if I had to choose a favorite romantic movie, I think it would be "Love Actually." One of my favorite scenes EVER is when Juliet goes over to Mark's house to see his video of her wedding. When he walks out of the house, then keeps contemplating going back inside and Dido's "Here with Me" is playing--that gets me every time. I just love the emotions in that scene.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

And I Feel Fine

You know, my Nana always says that the world is so bad these days, that God is going to destroy it. She thinks it's the end of the end of the world. I always laugh that she's such a pessimist.

But in the last 10 months, there has been a tsumami, hurricanes, wildfires, earthquakes, and mudslides. Tens of thousands have died.

Maybe Nana's on to something.

Friday, October 07, 2005


One of my girlfriends, Hope, is coming into town tomorrow with her baby. I'm always excited to spend time with her, but I'm disappointed this time. The weather is supposed to be awful and who feels like schlepping around the city when it's pouring rain? We were planning on dress shopping and going to florists in the city. Plus, she would normally stay over, but given the latest turn of events at my place (see last post), I'm un-inviting her to stay over. I've never done that before, but I can't very well have that baby in the same house with the killer rat I saw last night.

Yeah, I'm calling it a killer rat, although I think (I hope) it was just a larger-than-I've-seen-before mouse. I'm refusing to allow myself to believe otherwise because I will go completely ape-shit if I do. Most of the mice that have visited my apartment have been very small and rather cute. This thing was definitely bigger, but the fucker moves so fast, I can't say for sure what I saw. I don't think it was big enough to be a rat.

Don't you have the overwhelming urge to come to my place for dinner?

Ron started a month of hell, where he works all nights, getting a night off every few days. They call it a "day" off because technically you have more than 24 consecutive hours off, but I say if you get off of work at 11a.m. one day and have to be back at work at 4p.m. the next, that's not a day off. But whatever. This is the month that he's usually grumpiest and he and I barely see each other.

By some miracle, he gets off next Friday morning and doesn't need to be back until Sunday afternoon. I think we're going to take advantage of that by going pumpkin picking. One of my all-time favorite things to do. I really want to go to this place that my family went to when I was younger, but it's an hour and a half away. Which seems kind of far to go for pumpkins, when I can go places less than a half hour away. On the other hand, at this pumpkin patch, you can really pick your pumpkin off the vine, which in my opinion, is the only way to go. Plus, Delicious Orchards is nearby and I can always go for some apple pie. Mmmm, apple pie. Now I'm totally looking forward to next weekend.

But I digress. The point is that Ron is working nights and leaving me alone to fend for myself with the killer rat. I slept with all the lights on last night.

Thursday, October 06, 2005


Mouse. In. My. House.

Losing. My. Mind.

Knocked Up

God help her if this is true.

Update: This morning on CNN, in response to the report that Katie Holmes' family is happy about the news, Soledad O'Brien said, "Yeah, I'm sure her family is happy that she's having a baby out of wedlock."

Wednesday, October 05, 2005


I am tired. Sluggish really. I skipped my morning workout for no good reason. Just decided that today was a good day to sleep an extra hour. Whenever I go that, the results are the same: I need twice as much coffee to feel half as awake.

To boot, my pants don't fit today. They have not fit in the last 4-5 months. I'm talking about all my pants here. Some I just can't wear because they fall off my body. Most just hang loosely around my hips, making me look like I have droopy drawers. I suppose some people think this would be a great problem to have, but when all your pants don't fit, what are you going to do? Buy ALL new pants? I have about 18 pairs that I wear to work. It could get expensive to replace them all.

I haven't lost or gained any weight, but since I've started taking classes at my gym, my body has changed. My waist and hips are narrower, my legs are more muscular. While a narrow waist may be a good thing, it's causing a wardrobe crisis as it's just not socially acceptable to show up to work with no pants.

I've decided to buy two new pairs of pants: one black and one tan. And I'm going to hope that no one notices I keep recycling them.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Not So Sweet

So this season of MTV's "My Super Sweet 16" is completely out of control. I caught the tail end of one episode with Cindy. Because I missed the beginning, I didn't know where she was from, but as soon as I heard her talk I KNEW this was taking place in Staten Island.

I used to talk like that, people! Well, not exactly like that because my parents had this thing about using proper grammar. Oh, and if I ever cursed in their presence I certainly wouldn't still be alive today. But the accent--I had that accent.

Back to My Super Sweet 16--what the parents of these kids don't seem to realize is that they are creating sociopaths. Cindy told her mother to "shut the *bleep* up, bitch" when her mom wouldn't let her get two tiaras for her party (her party by the way was a Cinderella theme, right down to the freakin' bridal dress she was wearing). A mini- fight ensued and ended when Cindy told her mom that it was her party and "I'll cry if I have to." Which apparently indicates that all Cindy has to do is cry to get whatever she wants. Later, at her party, some girl she doesn't like shows up, she has the girl taken outside, presumably to be beat up by her friends. Girls beat each other up all the time in SI. It's fun.

This show infuriates me. Honestly. I watch this show partly enraged and partly fascinated. This goes way beyond spoiling your kids. It's about a lack of morals. It's parents teaching their children that the rules simply don't apply to them. It's parents who aren't teaching their children to be good people.

Anyway, I've since seen the beginning of the episode and Cindy is indeed from Staten Island which reminds me how freakin' thankful I am that my parents moved us out of Staten Island when they did. Thank you, Mom and Dad. At the time, I was heartbroken at leaving. But honestly, I don't know what would have happened to me if I had stayed.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Just Say No

It's fall. In fact, it's October 3rd. The temperature is slowly getting cooler.

But I'm still refusing to wear pantyhose. I'm going to hold out as long as I can.


Yeah, I'm not so sure about this Supreme Court nomination. I mean, she was Bush's private lawyer before she was even White House Counsel. Just seems alittle incentuous. Oh, and she's not a judge. Not that every Supreme Court Justice has been a judge previously, but....well that just seems wrong.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Again with Mark Wahlberg

In the last 6 weeks, there's only been one time that I've gone to church and Mark hasn't been there. We always sit in the same section of the church, and more often than not, in the same row. It's gotten to the point where I can safely say that he recognizes me from week to week. We're friendly. We smile, wave, do the whole sign-of-peace thing.

Last night, the Mass had already started, when someone else came in and sat in my row: Mark of course, and his less-than-funky bunch. He smiled and gave me a little wave. I noticed his was wearing his NBA issued sneakers again that say "Mark Wahlberg" on them. I find that endlessly funny, that someone would need their sneakers monogrammed.

Anyway, instead of leaving the church early, as he usually does, Mark stayed until the very end. I sat down briefly to gather my belongings and I could see out of the corner of my eye that he was turned in the pew, looking at me. For some reason, I was afraid of making eye contact. So I didn't. Call it women's intuition. I knew the eye contact would lead to small talk.

So with him still looking at me, I deliberately turned in the other direction, exited the pew and genuflected. I never looked back.

Didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

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