Thirtysomething

WHY--continued

Dear Gym Members,
Hey, we all know I have great stuff. But come on now, why would you take my keys? I left them on top of my nicely folded fleece like I always do. You had to have seen them there. I have a very distinctive key chain. Even if you took them by accident, you had to have realized it by now. Why won't you return them to the gym?

What could you hope to accomplish by taking my keys? They're not valuable, unless you're a stalker. Are you a stalker? I certainly hope not. I got my locks changed just in case you are. But the thing that pisses me off is that now I'm minus a distinctive key chain. I had a cool Smithwick's keychain that I was given by a man wearing a kilt. It was so large that it was almost impossible to lose inside my purse.

Now my keys are just on some rinky dink ring that could break any second. Which means I have to go shopping. Do you understand the ramifications of this? You're forcing me to already go back on a New Year's resolution. I hate you.

Sincerely,
Boom

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 7:07 AM