Packing Up a Life
You probably already know, either from Facebook or real life, that I'm relocating about 2 hours from Philadelphia. Except one reader who likely didn't know and is probably doing a happy dance now. You're welcome.
At any rate. So the last time I packed up and moved, I didn't have any kids. It is decidedly more difficult to pack with children. You know that part of packing where like everything is sort of all over the place? Yeah, it's hard to child-proof that pile of crap. So everything must go into boxes immediately. And those boxes must be out of reach of little people. Which, when you're living in 1100 square feet, is not easy. I've only just started and the movers come in a week.
I don't know how much I'll post between now and then. Maybe a lot. Maybe not at all. But once I'm settled in the new place, I will. I promise.
I'm going to really miss this town.
Labels: Living, random
A Time to Be Born, A Time to Die
Ron's friend, the one with cancer, passed away this weekend. Even though it was expected, I was surprised how quickly it happened, and when Ron told me, it sort of knocked the wind out of me.
We had a baby girl nine days ago. Pregnancy and post-pregnancy hormones can make one overly emotional, but I can't stop thinking about Ron's friend's family, his widow and his little boy. I can't imagine doing what I do every day on my own and I'm so ever thankful for the health of those I love.
Labels: Living, parenting, preggo
All In a Day's Work
Yesterday something happened that I knew would eventually occur, just a matter of time. A crazy student showed up wanting to meet with me unannounced.
I've met with plenty a displeased student. In the course of my career, there are students who are angry with me for one reason or another. That's fine, I don't worry about those too much and if they want to meet with me, well, sure, why not.
It's the crazy ones that worry me. Sometimes that's a fine line, the crazy vs. the angry. But it's worst when the student is both.
I evicted this particular student 4 years ago. On paper, it was because she engaged in disruptive behavior that negatively impacted the community. In reality, she's the only student I've ever tried to get involuntarily committed. It was not pretty.
So 4 years pass without a word from here and suddenly here she is wanting to see me. Pronto. Thankfully, I happened to be on the phone and I have a wonderful staff who ran some interference. There are very few people who I will not meet with. There are very few people who make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. But she falls into both camps. I made some calls after that. I'm fortunate that some of my closest allies on-campus are the Security Director and Legal Counsel. These are excellent people to have in your corner. The student is now restricted from campus.
This student never threatened me. She has displayed no propensity towards violence. I have no real reason to believe she wanted to do anything other than speak to me. Although, after 4 years, a disgruntled person showing up to speak with you is rarely good news. I told my lawyer friend, when he asked why I didn't have him pulled out meeting for this "emergency", that I figured I was probably blowing the whole situation out of portion. His response, "We don't have the luxury of making that assumption anymore."
Campus violence is on the rise. Everyone remembers Virginia Tech, but there are dozens and dozens of others that didn't get as much press. Then there was
this, which involved students I know and level of violence that no one wanted to believe could happen.
I feel like if I ever have to write a dissertation, I think it's going to involve the increasing danger on college campuses.
Labels: Living, winter of my discontent, work
Christmas
I can tell you this about this Christmas season: I've realized that nothing may be quite so fun as your kid "getting" Christmas for the first time. Rolo is basking in the glory of all that is holiday-related. His awe and enthusiasm is contagious. Just a couple of months ago, when I spoke of Christmas, he looked at me like I had 3 heads. But now that he sees it--the decorations, nativities--Santa, he gets it.
When he and Ron went to pick out a tree a couple of weeks ago, you would have thought we had won the lottery. There was a Christmas tree. IN HIS HOUSE. To a two year old, that's as good as it gets. Several days later, I put a wreath on the front door in the middle of the afternoon. I had forgotten I had done it until I brought Rolo home from daycare and he about jumped out of his stroller, yelling "LOOK! Mommy, Christmas on our door!"
His head is totally going to explode Christmas morning.
It's charming. I love Christmas time. But, as cliche as this sounds, seeing it through the eyes of a child getting it for the first time is...amazing. People complain about the "terrible two's" and, certainly, two year olds have their moments when you want to chuck them out the window. But honestly, they are so fascinated by everything around them, so open to learning about new things, that two might be my favorite age yet.
Labels: Living, parenting, Rolo
Other Things I Can't Imagine
One of Ron's friends is dying. Of cancer. After battling it with some success over the last few years, it's now spread to the point where even experimental treatments aren't worth trying. I can't imagine that. I can't imagine getting to the point where doctors tell you there aren't any options left.
I can't decide if knowing that you're going to die young is more or less cruel than if you were to die suddenly. On one hand you get to plan, say the long goodbye, do the things you want to do. On the other hand, I'm not sure how you resist the urge to curl up into a ball and just give up.
This particular friend spent some years married to a woman none of the other friends like, mostly because she didn't "allow" him to see his friends. And so, for nearly a decade , Ron lost touch with him. Then he divorced, found someone new and decided to remarry. The new wife encouraged him to resume contact with all his friends. Ron was in his wedding. They seem perfectly happy and his wife seems very nice. They had a son some months before we had
Rolo.
Then came the cancer diagnosis.
I can't help but think about his wife. She's younger than I and faced with the certainty of becoming a widow soon. How do you deal with that? The burden of having to remain strong for your son's sake? How do you plan for the last Christmas you'll spend as a family?
This is the second of Ron's friends who will pass away in as many years. Not from suicide or drug overdoses, but from actual medical conditions. Ron is, as much as Ron will allow for such things, heavy-hearted these days. Ron is only 6 years older than myself. I didn't expect we'd start losing people this soon.
So I worry about Ron in a way I didn't several years ago: what he's eating, whether he's exercising, whether his blood pressure is high. He's becoming the stereotypical (and ironic) cardiologist: the overweight guy who eats
cheese steaks. He is not old--he might be the youngest 40 year old I've ever known. But he's not young either and we can't pretend that lifestyle choices won't impact his health. And mine.
I know that we need to take better care of ourselves, because it's not just about us anymore. And I know when I getting all stressed out about money, or work, or another baby...I need to remind myself of Ron's friend and his wife. There are people who would trade places with me in a hot minute.
Labels: Living, winter of my discontent
Glamour
Lately, I've been all about making lists of beauty products I need to purchase in the coming weeks. Why? Well, I suppose I assume I'll be looking like a train wreck post-baby, and what better way to cheer oneself up than with new, shiny beauty products, right?
I need to get
Moroccan Oil from my hair stylist next week. So pricey and I only use it once every couple of weeks, instead of every day like my stylist would prefer, but man, my hair loves the stuff.
I seem to have run out of all three of my fragrances simultaneously:
Romance,
Coco, and
No. 5. I wonder if I should try something new? Or just replace some of my old ones?
Makeup products. From Clinque I need
concealer,
a brow pencil,
lip pencil,
lipstick (actually, I don't
need this per se, but a new shade always perks me up),
eye shadow (Colour Surge Soft Shimmer in Desert Sun--my all time fave) and
"All About the Eyes" cream (this isn't actually makeup, but whatever). Who knew I used so much makeup? That's not even the half of it. So I'll be spending a ton of cash on beauty products. Thank God Douglas is having a
20% off sale next week.
Also, I might hit Duross and Langel for one of their
eye creams, because HEY, when you're in your mid-30s with two (2!) kids, you can NEVER have enough eye cream.
Labels: Living, money, random, style, winter of my discontent
Missing The Person You Fell In Love With
I saw this
article on CNN and I knew before reading it what it was about. That made me a little sad. But this story, or some similiar verison of it, is what happens when you have children. I have a good marriage, and in many ways I am closer to my husband now than I was two years ago. There's much good, but I'd be lying if I told you something didn't catch in the back of my throat a little bit when I've looked at him and thought "He must miss the person he married."
Labels: baby, Living, parenting, random
Heart On My Sleeve
I watched an episode of
CSI last night. Or, more correctly, I stopped watching an episode of
CSI last night once I started to cry.
There was an incident, a shooting with many casualties. A man, anguished, held his dead child, refusing to let the medical examiners take him. A CSI agent explaining what the man already knew, that his son was no longer with him, and promising the man they would take good care of his son. Regardless, the man did not want to let go.
I've seen that moment in real life, the moment when a parent has to hand over their dead child, knowing they'll never hold him again. No matter if you believe in God, or heaven, you still don't want to let go.
I turned off the television and prayed for the thousandth time that I never have to be near that moment again.
Labels: Living, random
Denial
About a month ago, while getting ready for work, I bent over to pick something up and the lining in the seat of my pants ripped. How embarrassing. Thankfully, I was home and it was only the inside lining of the pants and not the outer fabric. A week later, the same thing happened again, different pants. Although both pairs were from Ann Taylor and I've had them for a few years. "Huh," I thought to myself, "I must be sending these to the dry cleaners too often. The fabric must be becoming thread-bare or something." I brought both pairs to the tailor and resolved to look into hand-washing my dress pants. I mean, it's probably better for the environment anyway, right?
Then about week after that, I put on a pair of freshly washed jeans. Except, funny, they wouldn't button. Even my fail-safe measure crouching up and down to stretch them out didn't work. I mean, these weren't even close to buttoning. Strange. I could have sworn they fit just last week. Maybe I need to shorten the amount of time my jeans are in the dryer?
Later that day, wearing a different pair of jeans, I couldn't help to notice that they were kind of uncomfortable. Like, they didn't fit well. And then I got to thinking about how there were other pants that I had recently stopped wearing because they were uncomfortable as well. My mind floated back to the jeans that would not button and then, suddenly, to the dress pants with the split seams. A lightbulb went off.
It may seem absurd, but until that moment it didn't occur to me that all these things were related. That the problem was not that my clothes were magically shrinking. My ass was getting big.
I've gained weight before, but I swear I've never split pants open before. I got on a scale. Oh yeah. Right there in black and white. Twenty pounds up from my ideal weight, 15 pounds up from
my post-baby weight. Sweet Jesus.
I mean, I know, I haven't really been trying. Not working out, not eating well. What exactly did I expect to happen? The alarming part is that I didn't really notice this expansion.
So, I finally started going to yoga practice. It's only been two weeks so far, but it's a start. Ron and I bought an exercise bike. We assembled it over the weekend but have yet to ride it. It was Ron's idea to buy it. My thoughts were originally that it would become an oversized clothes hanger. I have yet to meet a person who has purchased in-house exercise equipment and actually uses it.
I'm realizing now though that we have no choice. Ron's gained more weight than I have and so exercise is becoming crucial. Diet alone is not going to be enough. Ron is rapidly approaching 40 and has a family history of heart problems. Actually, I have a family history of heart problems too. Plus, I'm vain. Plus, if I am ever to have another baby (something that's being postponed for awhile, but that's another story), it certainly is not going to help to be 20 pounds overweight from the start. All vanity aside though, I don't want our weight issue to become a medical issue. So exercise we must.
Inertia is a funny thing. I know, in my heart, that exercising will make me feel better, and yet, laziness has a firm grasp on me right now. Someone who used to exercise twice a day, back at square one. After my first yoga practice, Ron and Rolo met me at the Starbucks across the street. Ron asked me how the class was, and I replied, "It's the first time I've felt like myself in a year and a half." "I'm glad," he said as he smiled. By the look in his eyes, I could tell he knew that by getting me the yoga classes, he was buying back pieces of his wife.
So back to square one. Ron and I allowed our lives to be railroaded over the last year. Time to get back on track.
Labels: fitness, Living
Making Good On Some Resolutions
Well, it hasn't been going too well. I did turn in my yoga studio gift certificate for an official purchase of 50 yoga classes. I haven't actually gone to a class yet but my plan is to start with what I'm hoping will be an easy "Yoga Rise" class on Saturday mornings beginning in February. Last week I bought some new yoga pants from Old Navy. It's a start.
Today, I finally booked a "hot stone" massage and facial for tomorrow. It won't use up the entire spa gift certificate (that I received, oh, over a year ago), but, again, at least it's a start. I have no idea what to expect from a "hot stone" treatment, but it seems interesting. Hopefully, it'll be relaxing. It's at Toppers Spa and I find some of the staff at that place completely snooty--and really, they have no reason to be. So we'll see.
The bubonic plague hit poor little Rolo this past week, and frankly, I've been using that as an excuse why I haven't been eating well or doing my morning stretching. Hopefully, I can start a better routine this coming week.
How are your resolutions going?
Labels: Living
Happy New Year!
Yes, I made stupid resolutions this year. I was watching TV yesterday and some "resolution expert" was directly people to make resolutions that were very specific and put them on the fridge.
1. Lose 10 pounds. This was orginally "lose weight", but then, you know, the "expert" said to be specific so I figured I should have a particular number in mind. I had gone back down to my pre-pregnancy weight, which is five pounds higher than my ideal weight, but now I've gone up 5 pounds from that. So, 10 pounds it is and to assist with this I've come up with some sub-catergories of this resolution"
- Stretch/yoga-at-home three mornings a week.
- Go to yoga class once a week (my fabulous son got me 50 classes at a local yoga studio for Christmas).
- Limit take-out food to one day per week. I figure if I stop ordering food 2-3 times a week, eating healthier may be easier.
- Attempt family dinners. Since forever now, I feed Rolo shortly after we get home each day and then Ron and I eat after Rolo goes to bed. In a way, I like this, because it allows Ron and I to eat in peace. Also, Ron sometimes isn't home until 7pm or so, which is a little late to expect a toddler to have dinner. On the other hand, waiting until after he's sleeping, we wind up eating at like 8:30pm and the later it gets, the more attractive ordering take-out food seems. In order for this to work, it will involve several things. Namely, I'll need to leave work promptly at 5pm so Rolo and I can get home by 5:30pm, so that I can then start cooking and have dinner ready at a reasonable hour. I'll also have to give up my fantasy that it will always be the three of us, because in reality, it will often just be Rolo and I. Note to self: find recipes that will heat up well for Ron.
2. One of my other resolutions is to use my gift certificate from LAST CHRISTMAS to Toppers Spa for things I would normally never do. Like a hot stone facial. Along with this, I'd like to resolve that yes, in fact, hair cuts and manicures and other frilly things can still be part of my life and therefore I should schedule them in advance like any other appointment. My entire life does not need to be about work and family. There can be just be me-time.
3. Try not to freak out about the future.
In other news, and related to #3, Ron's been offered and has accepted the opportunity to remain at his hospital for an additional year of training in a sub-specialty, thus pushing his fellowship completion date back to the summer of 2010. He's really interested in this sub-specialty and although the thought of extending his fellowship isn't ideal (I mean the idea of being "done" this June was pretty alluring), I think it's a good move to follow your dreams when presented with the opportunity to do so.
The icky part is that the work hours of this extended year will be horrific and I pretty much have to resign myself to the fact that I won't see Ron for a year beginning this summer. Believe me, selfishly, I hate the idea of that and a part of me wasn't going to be disappointed one bit if he decided not to do this extra year. However, the more mature part of my brain realizes that a year of sacrifice is worth Ron working in a field he really loves for the rest of his life. The good news is that this means he can put off his job search another year and we'll be staying put in the area for a while longer.
So, you know, happy 2009! I'm off to have a drink.
Labels: fitness, Living
Just Write Sucker on My Forehead
Items recently purchased:
In the hopes of being able to breathe well, a
Neti PotIn the hopes of getting my husband to wrap presents:
pop-up tape strips and a
wrapping paper cutter.
Labels: Living, shopping
Updates
No, I have not fallen off the face of the earth. Here's what I've been up to:
-Thanksgiving. It was a little cozy in our apartment, but hosting Thanksgiving for 8 people turned out pretty well. Food was good, no china was broken, and I think everyone had a good time.
-Massively large projects at work. Lots of budgeting. It's amazing how budgeting can be extremely hard and yet boring at the same time.
-Parties. My husband's siblings all tend to procreate around the same time, and so two nieces and one nephew all have birthdays within 12 days of each other. Which meant several birthday parties. Plus, a "Santa" party for Ron's sister's godchildren (I think she's a godmother seven or eight times over) and all the godchildren's siblings. I don't know, it's about 20 kids. Ron plays Santa. It's pretty funny. Coming up are a slew of other work-related and friend-related Christmas parties as well.
-Testing. I mentioned before that
Rolo was supposed to get some testing done. So far, we've managed to get two X-rays and the bloodwork done. The skin tests are up next, and I'm not sure what I want to do about the sweat test. Rolo was totally spooked by the X-ray machine, even though I was able to stand next to him the whole time (and pin down his arms--fun!). As soon as I picked him up off the bed, he started saying "bye" and waving to the machine as if to say, "Yeah, time to go now!"
-Christmas shopping. We've actually managed to get to a mall once or twice. Still lots more to get.
-Operation Kill Binky. After a couple of misfires, the discontinuation of the binky has gone rather well. Rolo has gone to bed without a pacifier every night for the last week. He cries a bit when we first put him in the crib, but it's only for a few minutes. I have, however, made some exceptions and allowed him to have his binky during these X-rays and blood draws. He is, after all, only 16 months old. In addition, I've finally given him a toy,
Fred the Monkey, to sleep with--up until this point, he's never had anything else besides a pacifier in his crib with him.
Well, that's it for now. Hopefully, I'll get back to posting again soon.
Labels: i like stories, Living, parenting, Rolo
Thankful
My sister-in-law, the one who had Baby M, is pregnant again. I'm not sure if I've mentioned that before here. She's due the first day of February, but given her history with
preeclampsia, it was assumed the baby would be born before that. She had some early signs of preeclampsia pretty much from the moment she got pregnant, and then, she had an ultrasound that showed some possible abnormalities (though nothing definitive) with the baby. She has been cautious, emotionally-speaking, regarding this pregnancy, which is understandable after everything she went through with Baby M. But she was disheartened by the less-than-stellar ultrasound.
Then yesterday, another doctor's appointment. All traces of preeclampsia are gone. Her blood pressure is fine. And another ultrasound showed the fluid around some of the baby's organs, which was thought to indicate a problem, was gone. A perfect, perfect doctor's visit. Almost as if, for the first time, she wasn't a high-risk pregnancy. Maybe she would not have to deliver the baby early after all.
Then she got home to find out that her husband is being deployed, quite unexpectedly, to Iraq for a year. Leaving on January 30, two days before her due date.
Heaven help me, but I laughed when I found out he was being deployed. He's so not the type of guy you would think about sending to war. Regardless of whether I care for the guy, I still don't want to see him go off to war. He's been in the Navy Reserves for years, but the Iraq war really isn't a Navy war, so there was never any talk of deployment. Turns out that his new profession as a law enforcement officer cast him in a new light. He'll be retrained to be, I think, military police, riding in humvees.
At any rate, I think my sister-in-law is pissed, scared, stressed, you name it. This should make for an interesting Thanksgiving.
***************
Last year,
I said I was thankful for day care. And while I still love the idea of day care, if not my particular one, this year I'm thankful for different things. One, that my husband is not being deployed to Iraq and two, after reading manyp personal blogs about
infertility and infant mortality, I'm more thankful than ever to have my sweet little Rolo. The heartbreak that others, including my sister-in-law, have gone through is unimaginable. And so I am so lucky to have a great husband and wonderful, healthy baby.
What are you thankful for?
Labels: i like stories, Living
Champs
I live close enough to South Street to tell you
one thing: the city is freaking crazy right now.
I expect to see my husband some time shortly before sunrise. Two years ago, I would have been filing out to Broad Street (probably not South Street), partying. But now, I sit home, with a sleeping baby, different responsibilities, listening to the crowds outside instead. I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish I was out there too.
But I am giving my office a couple of hours off Friday to see the parade.
Labels: i like stories, Living, society
Must See TV
I am SO watching
this tonight.
Labels: Living, music
Weird Conversations (Or Self-Serving Attitudes About Politics)
Me: You know, I'm not like 100%, gung-ho Obama, but I am leaning towards him.
R: I know, I know. But you realize he's going to tax the crap out of us, right?
Me: Well...(sigh).
R: You realize we're not going to be middle class anymore? Not according to him. I've worked a long time and those taxes will take a higher gross salary and turn it into low net salary.
Me: Well,
unless you're planning on making $5 million a year, which is impossible, we'll be middle class forever with McCain, regardless.
Labels: conversations, i like stories, Living
Weather
You know, I'm totally dreading the thought of winter, the short daylight hours, being holed up for months because it's too cold to take the kid out just for fun. But that aside, I have to say I'm really enjoying this fall-like weather. I mean it's glorious. And there's something comforting about putting on a light sweater for the first time in months.
Labels: Living, random
Back!
So we're back from our trip to nowhere. Which really wound up being some time in Maryland. We used the trailer, down by the river, as our base and made day trips to Baltimore and Annapolis. Which, by the way, LOVED Annapolis. Not a large town, but very cute. Lots of cute stores, which meant shopping.
And speaking of shopping, my feet still are messed up since the ol' baby-o and so I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm a sneaker and
Aerosoles kind of girl. I got
these in black and
these, also in black (what else?).
These are next on my "to buy" list once they go on sale.
Tomorrow, I'm getting a hair cut and having dinner with friends. It's a good week.
Labels: Living, random, vacation
This and That
Lots of interesting stuff up in here. Well, maybe not so interesting to you, but to me.
First, a new bed. Finally after years of cohabitation, we finally have a king sized bed. It was a little touch and go because I didn't sleep well on it for the first two night and Ron, who slept like a baby for the first time in years, started weeping at the thought of returning the bed. Lucky for him, the last two nights, I slept with no problem. So the bed stays.
We're supposedly going on vacation later this week for a few days. We still do not have a destination. We're crazy, last-minute people like that! Hell, I don't even care where we go as long as it's not my office. Today, I'm thinking Virginia Beach.
Lastly, Rolo is all over the place and started walking. And by walking I mean on three different occasions he's taken 3 steps by himself and then fallen down. But it's progress! He also says "Dat!" while pointing at things (usually food) that he'd like to have. And finally, after months of trying the sign language thing, he makes the sign for "done". Which is the same universal sign for "all done", the one babies usually make. And he doesn't do the sign with actual meaning. If I ask "are you all done", he signs "done", but that doesn't mean he's actually done. He just thinks it's the only answer to the question.
My friend, Meg, who I've blogged about here, is leaving. She lives 4 blocks away from me, which is super convenient, but now she's following her dream job and moving to Jersey City. I'm happy for her; sad for me. No more last-minute happy hours.
Lastly, I need a good shopping excursion. New shoes are needed.
Labels: Living, Rolo
