Thirtysomething

Testing 1, 2, 3

So we got initial results back from the amio and so far, it's good news. Which I pretty much expected, because what are the odds that we'd have an increased risk for CF as well as Downs or spina bifida? I mean, really, even bad luck runs out eventually. Of course the results that aren't in are the ones about the CF. Who the heck knows when they'll be in, but so far, I'm pretty zen about it. I think I've mentally prepared myself for the results showing that the child has inherited the combination of Ron's and my defects. And if that's the case then we know absolutely nothing more than before we tested. So you know, I just have to be okay with that and accept that with any luck, everything will be okay. In my mind, everything IS okay, but I'm not sure if that's a defense mechanism or not.

Relatively few people know about this CF thing, but there are a couple who do who seem to think I'm making a very large mountain out of a mole hill. I suppose that's possible. But it still makes me want to punch those people in the face. I realize I'm not the only person to ever go through this, the possibility that something could be wrong with her child. I also realize that other people are dealing with much harder issues, like actually having a child with significant medical problems, instead of just an increased risk of a problem. And really, after seeing what my sister-in-law went through this summer, no one needs to tell me that it could always be worse. I know. I've seen the worst. But that doesn't make me want to punch people any less when they imply that I'm overreacting either. When it happens to you and your baby, and if you think it's no big deal then, then you can judge me.

Chances are, this kid will be fine. The main way it will affect us is whether and how we have another child. I think Ron and I envisioned having two. That being said, I think I'd be fine with one. I don't want to "not know" what's going on if there is a next time though, which means if there is a next time, it may need to be by in vitro. There's a pre-selection screening process in which they can essentially leave out embryos that have the defects. Seems like it might be way too high tech and troublesome for me. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, I suppose.

In other news, unlike trying to tell on an ultrasound, my doctors definitively know the gender of the baby. It's strange to me that people know now. Personally, I don't want to know. But I can't say I'm not a tiny bit curious, especially now that I know it's in my file.

Labels: baby, CF

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 8:11 AM