Thirtysomething

Conversations

Standing at the bathroom sink.
R (pulling a Biore Ultra Cleansing Pore Strip off his nose): Oh my God. This really hurts. I wouldn't have agreed to this is if I knew it was going to hurt.
Me: You wanted to do this. This was your idea.
R: You were doing it and I want to be just like you. Man, this hurts.
Me: Don't be a sissy.
R (looking at the now-removed Biore strip): Look at this thing. What is all that?
Me: That's dirt and gunk that was in your pores. Gross, right?
R: That's New York dirt.
Me: New York dirt?
R: Yeah, that's from being in New York. Philly isn't that dirty.
Me: So you're saying all that accumulated in the last few days?
R: Exactly. New York dirt. (Looks in the mirror) Why do I have holes in my nose now?
Me: Those are pores, dear.
R: Why are they open? They weren't open holes before! I'm disfigured. The Biore strips disfigured me.
Me: Please. They'll close up. It's not even noticable.
R: Can I fill the holes back up? I don't want holes on my nose.
Me: They're pores. You just cleaned them out. They'll close back up.
R: I have holes in my nose. Can I put the dirt back in?
Me: You're so vain.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:48 AM