Wednesday, November 22, 2006

All the Money in the World

What I'm learning is that there are no limits to a mother's grief. It is more vast, more far-reaching than almost anything else. The grieving process is far more complex than I ever imagined. How do you chart its progress? How do you know what's normal? What's okay?

Extravagant presents to us from a baby who has passed away? Is that okay? A Christmas card from that baby saying all the things I suppose he would have said were he 1) alive and 2) old enough to compose such thoughts. Do you accept an extravagant gift that comes with it the burden of having to make up for a lifetime of presents that would have been, had things turned out differently? Do you accept such things as part of the healing process? What do you do when a grieving mother does not want to hear that she doesn't need to compensate? That she can't buy back what would have been his first Christmas? What's more important: your own comfort level or her peace of mind?


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