Being The Only One Sucks Sometimes
So several weeks ago, my boss sent an invitation to me and everyone else who reports directly to him for us to join him on his boat to see the Blue Angels this week down in Maryland. I declined this invitation last year. I declined it again this year.This trip would involve leaving town tomorrow afternoon, having dinner with everyone involved tomorrow night and then spending all day Wednesday on the boat. I like all the people who are invited, but the problem is this: everyone else who's invited is male and over the age of 50. Should that matter? No. But it does.
To a lesser extent I don't want to go because I really do have a lot of work to get done. But a part of me really does want to go on this trip, not only because, politically, it's the right thing to do, but also because I've worked hard to fit in with this group and avoiding social events like this don't really help matters. I've dealt with quite a bit of ribbing from the guys about not going. I've given all the professional reasons why I can't go. I even coyly said that they would have more fun without me tagging along. I even once said, in jest because I can do that with this group now, "You want me to spend a solid day and a half with you guys? Please, I'd rather stick a fork in my eye."
The thing is, they all sincerely want me to go. And for that reason alone I want to go. But...well, I just don't think I can. They all think it's because my husband won't let me. But really, it's just that it's too damn weird for me to be with older men for that long a period of time. Does that make me immature? I feel immature. I also know that in the eyes of some, this is a test to see what I'm really made of and I'm failing.
Because when it comes to the political environment of an institution, the good work you produce is only half of what you're judged on.
posted by DJ Heavy D @ 11:05 AM
1 Comments:
I can't say much here, because I totally would not go.
Hell, I don't even go out for a drink with my co-workers.
That being said, it sounds like you have legitimate reason not to go. If that is the case, you need to make peace with your decision not to go. If you are BSing and really can and should go, but do not feel comfortable, that is okay too, just as long as you can acknowledge that and make peace with that.
Bottom line, whatever you decide, you have to make your peace with the decision.
I see what you mean about how it looks that you aren't going, but when it comes down to it, you are a damn good worker and you contribute a lot ot that job, even when they stick you in uncomfortable unrealistic situations (all the time), so why on earth would you want to spend your free time with them?
Again, this is all coming from a virtual hermit with respect to co-workers.
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