Thirtysomething

Believe

Around this time yesterday, I was desperately wishing I had access to a computer. I felt the need to post about my experiences over the last few days while I was still in the moment. I knew if I waited until today, the experiences, or rather the feelings, wouldn't be as defined and therefore would be harder to describe. Alas, I had no access to a computer and therefore you're getting a watered-down version of my time in the midwest.

I met some great people. People who would be my friends under different circumstances, those circumstances being that we lived anywhere near each other. Conferences for me always go the same way: I start out being a little freaked out by the cult-like nature of the group and by the end am a fully vested member of the insanity. This was no different. The first night I felt lonely and out of place and wanted to go home. By yesterday afternoon I had a odd desire to never leave.

The thing about the people in my profession is, we like to drink. Well, except for one guy in our little group who is Baptist and doesn't drink. Or curse. Surprisingly, he fit in despite these deficiencies. The bottom line was that at the end of each day, after maxing out on new information, we would find ourselves having a good time at a local watering hole. And considering we have to, in part, socialize for a living, we all hung out until the wee hours of the morning.

The conference had a little thing where you could purchase bracelets (think "Livestrong" types) for someone else at the conference who you believed in. You would tack a note with some crappy sap written about it on a board about someone and that someone could take the card and get one of these bracelets. Well, because alot of the same people go to this conference every year (and are members of the organizational cult), some people were wearing like 8 bracelets by the end of Day 1. Gag me with a fork. I always thought those plastic bracelets were a bit ridiculous, even the Lance Armstrong ones. Well, maybe those were okay, but now you can get those bracelets for any or no cause at all.

But don't you know that I wanted a blue bracelet from the conference? I wanted someone to "believe" in me. Even though I didn't really know anyone there. Well, by the third day I had a new set of friends and walked off with 3 bracelets. You would have thought I won the lottery.

As I was getting ready to go to the airport, I looked in the mirror in my hotel room. I was wearing my new Marquette University t-shirt, cargo pants and had my hair in a ponytail. And I was wearing 3 blue rubber bracelets. I'd like to think that if you saw my on the street, you would have mistaken me for a college student.

And then I didn't want to leave. Not because I didn't want to go home. It's just that these conferences, for me at least, awaken my potential. The potential to be and to do more is actually palatable. You can feel and taste it, it's so real. I didn't want lose that and it's easy to do in your daily routine. The routine I was going back to...so for a moment, I didn't want to go back. I love the field I'm in, sometimes I forget that because I may not love my particular job. But the potential to be great in this field in there. For a moment I wanted to take all my new friends and put them in my pocket and go somewhere where we could work together, inspire each other and others. It would be a great, great thing.

When Ron picked me up from the airport, one of the first things he asked was "What's up with the bracelets?" There's no sense trying to explain it to someone outside the field. I'm still wearing them today, even though if anyone at My Institution sees them, they'll think I'm nuts.

I know the bracelets are silly. But I want to believe in my potential just a little bit longer.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:58 AM