Thirtysomething

These Boots

I can't even begin to tell you how much Jessica Simpson's video for "These Boots are Made for Walking" disturbs me. And I really like Jessica Simpson.

First, there's the fake tan. Jessica, lay off the spray tanner! I'm begging you. They did that contouring thing to define her muscles, but all it did is make her look dirty. I have the uncontrollable urge to take a shower whenever I see that video.

Second, what's up with the eye make-up? Hello, racoon-eyes. Not a good look for you, sweetie. Particularly when you already look like you need a bath.

Lastly, the car wash scenes. Now, I can get behind Jessica wearing the daisy duke shorts and the crop-top and the boots--I mean the song is "These Boots are Made for Walking" after all. But washing the General Lee down in bikini? What does that have to do with anything? It looks like something out of a bad '80s heavy metal video. Why, Jessica, why?

The whole thing is comes off as Jessica trying to hard to be sexy. It's kind of sad. Honey, you're already sexy, you don't need to try so hard.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:36 AM