Conditional Love
Everyone talks about unconditional love, but do you really think there's such a thing? Think of your girlfriend, husband, partner, whatever. Do you love that person unconditionally? What if that person, who up until this point, was perfect began hurting you over and over again, betraying you over and over again? What then? Not so unconditional, is it?I'm not talking about my situation. I'm pretty lucky.
I'm thinking of spouses, or of parents and children, who are pushed to their limits. Sometimes people take the unconditional love they receive and abuse it. They think it makes them powerful. They think they can hurt the people around them and there will be no consequences. They use the love they receive as a whip to control those they receive it from. But everyone has limits. You can push people too far.
Me, I knew that when I left home. I wasn't so foolish as to think that I could walk out on my parents and think they would just accept it. That they would love me regardless. I knew I was pushing them too far. I've lived with the consequences since then. But I knew all this before I left. Some people have no idea that they can only push so much. I see kids today push their parents, thinking that their parents will take whatever their kids put out there. That sort of attitude can be poison for a family. It can be poison for any relationship.
So if the love you have in your life, whether it be parental or romantic, is good to you, shout it from the rooftops. If it's not, don't be afraid to draw the line.
posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:44 AM
1 Comments:
I think people assume too much when it comes to love, they assume it is unconditional from family in the same way that it is generally assumed that your family is the most important thing in your life--that "blood is thicker than water", and so on.
As much as a parent may feel unconditional love for their newborn child, how can we know until it is tested? How many parents have kicked their kids out, how many children have written their parents off? Maybe it was forgood reason, but it is an example that love can be conditional...I loveyou until you defy my beliefs or my wishes.
I think love is earned. Yes, we can fall in love, or love our friends, but think about the way love in a relationship changes over time. With time and challenge love grows, it changes, it fills cracks we didn't even know were there.
People who use love from others as tools to manipulate are evil, and sad. It happens all the time though. We all have instances in our lives where we believed in love but have been hurt, maybe the love was conditional on their part, maybe on ours, regardless, it is all more complicated than the simple four letter word, LOVE.
You are right, never take love for granted, shout it from the rooftops, and celebrate it when it is real.
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