Thirtysomething

The Luckiest

When I was younger, I didn't think I'd get married. I have always been a serial dater, with one long term relationship after the other. While everything would start out okay, two or three years down the road I'd realize the person I was dating was not for me anymore. And I would think, what if I got married and a year later, realized this wasn't the right person. I used to think I'd have to date someone for like 7 years before I'd be sure.

I also used to think that true love would be an all-consuming thing. I loved the idea of the drama of it, the magic of it. Think "Bridges of Madison County" or the movie "Titanic". I love any book or movie that involves slightly torturous love. I wanted poetry and yearning and all that good stuff. I've had that in past relationships, the drama, the magic, the all-consuming stuff. And you know what? It doesn't make good for the long haul. I've had the magic and I've found that it doesn't translate well to everyday real life.

I met Ron when I wasn't looking for anything, or maybe when I was looking for the exact opposite of him. He didn't look or seem like the man of my dreams. We started slowly, for months not even acknowledge to anyone, not even ourselves or each other, that we were dating. Well, probably because it wasn't really dating, unless dating only on Friday nights after 2a.m. counts.

And then it happened. I don't know when. I remember the first time we talked about getting married. It was at the Chaddsford winery and we were listening to some jazz outside, enjoying a bottle of wine. It was a beautiful day. Anyway, sometime before that, he and I must had looked at each other and realized: this is it. It wasn't complicated. He's not complicated and his love isn't complicated.

And so falling in love for the last time wasn't at all what I thought it would be. It was simple and understated, but somehow, I knew it was final. I never thought about 2 or 5 or 10 years down the road. I just knew he would be there, and somehow, he knew the same about me. It's like we didn't have to even think about it. He is nothing like what I would have imagined but it works. That doesn't sound terribly romantic probably. But I think when you find a person who you want to spend the rest of your life with, well, that is romantic. There won't be poems, or flowers, or anything like that. What I'm getting, though, is the best person I have ever known, the brightest star I have ever seen. I aspire to be more like him and I love him tremendously.

I hope all of you have all that in your lives too.

I'm getting married tomorrow. And I'm going to try not to cry when I think of all the people coming to see us and hear us say "I do".

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 5:23 AM