Thirtysomething

The Reaction

My heart goes out to those in London. Nearly four years ago, I was anxiously awaiting news that my brother, who works in Manhattan, was okay. I sympathize. It's just awful.

But my first reaction, my gut reaction, is anger. I can't seem to help that. I turned on CNN this morning and thought, "These fucking shitheads are at it again?" That doesn't mean I'm not also sad or that my heart doesn't go out to those directly affected. But it doesn't necessarily diminish my anger. It was the same way after September 11th. On that day I was sad, horrified, afraid, sympathetic and broken-hearted all at once. I felt all those things when I thought about what happened--I still can't look at pictures from that day without tearing up. But whenever I think of those who actually caused that, my anger left me tongue-tied. I don't hate those people though, I feel profoundly sorry for them.

I know that my anger helps no one, except me. I embrace my anger as the reaction I have, as my way of dealing.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:43 AM