Thirtysomething

The Cheese Stands Alone

My friend Dan will love the title of this post. He called me Cheese throughout college and only he knows why (why, Dan, why?). I've always assumed it was because I was very into residence life in college and well, there was definitely a cheesiness to that.

Anyway, in my previous blog I did some complaining about a colleague of mine. When the director of our department left two years ago, this colleague and I took over as co-directors. When the work was reallocated, I got about 75% of it. I was fine with that, but I was not fine with how disinterested my colleague was in her 25%. I was fine with my work load, but I got really pissy when I had to pick up her slack too. She never used to be like that--she used to be a really hard worker. But we had been through a literal work-hell and it effected her differently than it effected me.

When I decided to stay at The Institution, rather than taking a job elsewhere, I knew I was going to be promoted. Fortunately my colleague got another job, and will probably be much happier. Overall, I was and am happy with the direction this all has taken. But she's leaving next week and I am surprised to find this unsettling.

I'm going to be the director of my department. It's not that I can't do the job--I've been doing most of the work anyway. It's that I'll have to do it alone. For the first time, I'll have to make decisions without consulting my colleague. She has always had a different way of looking at things than I have and I always found that helpful. I'll have to come up with ideas on my own. She has been the only person who truly understands what we've been through with The Most Evil Company in All the Land. I've relied on her mentally, and didn't quite fully apprecriate what her absence will mean. She and I, at least figuratively, shouldered the responsibility of the department together. Our employees, other college administrators and deans looked to us as a team. Now the responsiblity of my department, its employees and all the students we service falls with me. I know I'll do a decent job, it's just weird being the top cheese.

And the cheese stands alone.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:10 AM