Friday, December 12, 2008

Holiday or Not

My mother, she seems to be having a hard time with the fact we had Thanksgiving at our place. Or maybe she's just having a hard time with the holidays in general. I have my moments when I still get angry at her. It's easier to do that, get angry. But I know, without knowing, that there is something else there. I suspect that her mind and her heart are not well; one literally, one figuratively. So getting angry is much like kicking a puppy. I should know better.


Ron may stop to get a Christmas tree tonight. I look around our apartment and it doesn't look very Christmas-y. More decorating to be done. The tree will likely only have ornaments higher than 3 feet from the ground. Or they'll all have to be plastic ornaments on the lower 3 feet. Curious toddler about.


On Wednesday, Ron took Rolo to his parents house for an overnight visit so that I could go to my holiday party last night. So yesterday morning, I slept until 7, took my time getting showered, made-up and dressed, and drank coffee on the couch. It was peaceful, easy, and a reminder of the mornings in my old life. Although I did not do any stretching. I used to stretch every morning. Now I do not. Even when I have the time to do so.


I have never been one to make New Year's resolutions and yet. Yet, I find some voice inside my head saying: "Starting January 1st, I'll start stretching again. And in January, I'll start taking a yoga class. In January, I'll enroll Rolo in a music class. Starting January 1st, we're going to eat healthier around here. In fact, starting January 1st, we're going to all start eating together as a family. Can you imagine how much healthier we'd be eating if we all ate what Rolo ate? Starting January 1st..."


Rolo is sick. Fever, coughing. Trying to decide whether it's worthy of a doctor's visit.


Work has been busy lately. Stressful, but maybe in a good way. I expected to fall on my face during a presentation the other day, but I held my own, even when I got grilled with crazy questions. I got high-fives from my team when I was done. Funny, how at age 33, high-fives can still make my day.


I'm not sure why, but it doesn't feel like Christmas to me.

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