Thirtysomething

Conversations

It must be nice to live in fantasy-land.

R: Arrrgghh! The laundry! I forgot about folding the laundry.
Me: Oh yeah, me too. I separated it, we just need to fold it and put it away.
R: You do too much laundry.
Me: (sighing) We've been over this before. I do it twice a week so I can carry it.
R: You do it more than twice a week, it's ridulous.
Me: (annoyed) I do it twice a week. Believe me, no one knows better than me how many times I do laundry.
R: (equally annoyed) I'm sick of having to fold and put all this laundry away. I spend all my time putting away laundry.
Me: Am I hearing you right? Are you kidding me? I lug it down there, around the corner, do it and lug it back. You're COMPLAINING that there's clean laundry? Laundry that you don't have to do? Clean laundry that miraculously appears that you simply have to put away? Are you serious?
R: Yes, I'm sick of folding laundry twice a week. You should only have to do laundry once a week.
Me: That's too much laundry for me to carry at once.
R: I told you that you don't have to do my laundry. I'll do my own.
Me: But you wait weeks to do yours and I can not take it when there's dirty laundry everywhere.
R: Laundry should only be done every two weeks. When I lived alone I did mine once a month.
Me: Are you kidding me? We can't do laundry every two weeks! You just said one week, now it's two weeks. You know, if we ever have kids, you do laundry like every freaking day. You know that right?
R: No, no laundry every day. Just buy them more clothes.
Me: I'm not even justifying that with a response. I can't believe you're complaining about CLEAN laundry.
R: (opens dresser drawer) Look at this! This is underwear I never even see, because I never need to go into this drawer because I never can use that much underwear. You're always washing the other pairs, so I never even get to this drawer.
Me: I SO wish I had a tape recorder right now. I would love to play back this conversation to other people. Next time you go out with the guys, I want you to complain to them about how much laundry your fiancee does. About how many clean clothes you have. I'd love to see what kind of sympathy you get from them.

The end result of this conversation is him having his own hamper in the back closet that can get as overfilled as he lets it. He will do his laundry, I will do mine. And he better not dare come to crying to me when he runs out of underwear.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 8:00 AM