Thirtysomething

The Puffer

When we were in NYC for a weekend last month, we did all the typical sightseeing. By the way: Sightseeing+Manahattan=Security Checkpoints. Nearly everything we did required some sort of security check. Which was fine, it's become part of the culture there now. The most intense security check happened at the Statue of Liberty. I was surprised about that actually, that security would be tighter at the Statue than at the Empire State Building. True, the Statue of Liberty is a highly recognizable landmark, with lots of symbolism, but so is the Empire State Building, and frankly, the Empire State Building has more human collateral.

Anyway, so the Statue of Liberty is on an island and the only way to get there is by ferry. The ferry costs $10, but tours of the Statue are free. We waited on an eternal line, in the cold, which moved towards a tent. Inside the tent, we knew, was the usual security check: Empty all your pockets, take off your coat, go through the metal detector, be prepared to be patted down, if necessary, take off your boots, send your purse through an X ray scanner, etc.. So we did all that, and while Ron put his belt back on for the 34th time during that visit to New York, we got ready to board the ferry. The ride over was beautiful. Freezing, because I insisted on being on the top (and outside) deck, but sunny and beautiful. After touring around the island for a bit we scored some tickets to the museum from a Park Ranger--we had previously been told all the reservations were taken. The museum is in the base of the Statue, so we headed towards the security check-point tent.

Once at the tent, a Park Ranger waved a little wand over us to make sure we weren't packing heat and we headed further into the tent towards another line. I was confused. We had already gone through security before we got to the island, and then the half-hearted security wand, so what was this line about? It snaked back and forth and lead to a door which was being opened and closed by another Ranger. Was it just a line to get in? No, I noticed the Ranger was searching each person's bags as he let them in through the door.

Then we heard a noise. A series of noises, actually. It sort of sounded like short bursts of machinery running. It was a very systematic set of bursts of noises, over and over again. Ron and I looked at each other. What is THAT? We couldn't see what was happening beyond the doors inside. As we got closer, there were TVs providing instructions for this security checkpoint. That's right, off with belt again, Ron. Finally, at the front of the line, I let the Ranger search my purse. Once through the doors, I saw the most peculiar thing. They looked like metal detectors, except they appeared to be blowing powerful puffs of air (or something) at the person standing within the frame of the metal detector-looking thingy. That was the noise we were hearing from the outside. Wild.

I asked one of the security people what it was. "It detects whether there are any chemicals on you." Really? Is it going to pick up that I'm wearing Chanel No.5? And why don't we have these at our airports? This cutting edge technology is reserved for the Statue of Liberty?

I thought it was kind of funny. My hair had been pulled up, but I let it down, specifically so it would fly in every direction while I was in "The Puffer". It felt kind of funny get hit with air. I was a little nervous, because security checkpoints and I generally don't get along. I have yet to fly since 9/11 and not get selected for a "special screening" or have my luggage torn open or need a "female assist", which is code for "another woman needs to feel this passenger's boobs." So I was a little worried that The Puffer would set off all sorts of sirens and alarms and we'd be in lock-down mode forever. Fortunately, I passed through with flying colors. Apparently, they don't care what perfume you're wearing.

I've since learned that a couple of airports are currently using The Puffer and more are planning on using them soon. Puffers. Soon we can all look forward to being Puffed when we fly. Puff on.

posted by DJ Heavy D @ 6:07 AM